My worst nightmare..

Finally the result for Renal & GI OSPE is out..hmm, didnt get very well, only a B+, what? B+? huh..I was preparing for this early on when i was having the exam, since I didnt finish my procedure (NG feeding) and violated aseptic principle. At 1st I thought that the B+ was at least acceptable, not knowing there was actually something behind it. My lecturer said want to meet me today after exam, and so I did (Mei, the captain said, maybe i have something to discuss with her about the OSPE). Saw that alot of people get A's for their skills (Dont really bother neway, just damn angry some one shouted my result loudly..so embarrasing..)

Neway, I then headed off to her office, so surprising that somehow she was having a discussion with two strangers.
"Siik Fung, are you coming to see me? (Duh!!)" and I say,
"Yes , Pn, I come to discuss something with you"
"Can you come see me later, I've got some discussion going on"
"Ok, sure"

The discussion lasted for so long and after almost 20 minutes, finally it's my turn to meet her (Thanks to all the disruption going on).
She later asked me what do I think of my OSPE, I said I am satisfied knowing that I at least got B+. Then she showed me something, a paper with grades in it. "Actually, I hesitate to paste this marks in front of the door, because i scared you cant accept the marks given to you, honestly I was shocked myself, do you know where's your mistake and what u think?"

My eyes nearly flooded with tears when i saw the marks..It was so low i can't believe my eyes. Very, very painful indeed. I got the lowest marks in my life. I failed it. My, what have I done wrong? Aseptic technique violated, and although second attempt was done, I think it is not counted in.

It's really sad indeed, she asked me not to cry, not to be sad, coz she believe I can do well in my finals, I hope so. It's hard to catch an A for this subject. the thought of it makes me crazy. No mood to do anything, sleeping the whole day and think back bout my mistakes. Why I kept repeating the same thing again and again? Why? Sick of it..