Sunday, October 25, 2009

Waiting For You..

Friendship never dies..I guess it’s purely true..While typing this to be posted into my blog, I was actually listening to Hana Kimi’s song called “Save Me”. It reminds me of a friend who actually really need our help in leading her to the right pathway, and I’m glad that she did choose to improve in order to stay with us. Yesterday, me and 7 other girls was having a discussion, a very rare one,because we never have the time ti spend for each other by giving excuse of doing this and that, but eventually without realizing that we have neglected the friendship, we may look united but that’s not what the heart says. Ironically, we were separated due to attitudes. It’s the very first time we have a heart-to-heart session, and in order to solve unresolved issues. The internal conflict between some of our friends. And it’s about a person we really cared.

All this while, we have been going against her without looking at her pure effort. She has been trying to change herself to someone who was not her, but because she wanted to be a part of us, she tried her best, although she knew she almost reached her limit. She was so much different than before, and I’m very touched with it. Among the 8 of us, she has a different story, a different path, a very difficult one..And after our discussion yesterday without her, we try to compare her advantages and disadvantages, maybe it sounds unfair to her, but we want to know how much she has changed, and to appreciate what she have done. One by one started to express their feelings, how they feel about her all this while when we’re together and how she sometimes makes us angry. Some even cried when they spoke about the situation whereby they were unhappy with her.

But when one of my friend starts, she started crying telling us a story to compare her condition with us. How different she was from us. Just imagine her as a 5-year old who are still trying to walk and run like others do, it’s not that she never try, she tried really hard, that when she falls, she was crying. But none of us understand her effort, because we just want her to be at the same level as us, but we never thought of how hard is it to be her. Even when she falls, there’s no one to help. And when she was so tired of trying, she thought of giving up. My friend paused for a while, unable to hold her tears, because she was the one has given moral support to her. Although she got disappointed sometimes she never stops encouraging her. In order for this 5 year old girl to stand up again and walk like us, it may not be easy, but at least by showing appreciation and care to her, it may be slow, but she will make it till the end, because she knows we will be waiting for her at the end point.

After all of them settled down, it’s finally my turn.

At first, I can still control my emotion. But when I suddenly remembered about what this girl mentioned about her family photo, she said this: “After 22 years, this is the only complete family photo I’d ever had..” I can’t control the tears from rolling down. Because I know compared to her, we were much luckier and happier than she did. At least we still have a complete set of family, and all this while she was just hoping for bits of attention, I know her expectations weren’t high. She maybe smiling from the outside, but no one knew what she’s gone through all these years. I always have a bad impression on her, but I never thought of how she really mind the way I judged her, that do I love her like I love my other friends? Did I ever appreciate all the small souvenirs she bought for me, just to remind me that she remembered me wherever she goes? I felt really guilty, that I just wished the person up there will punished me for being ignorant and neglecting her needs..

After all of us gathered up and even doing a small prayer for her, we try to find solutions to

help her through all the way. Nevertheless, there’s so much we have learned yesterday. We managed to catch back all the memories we had together but it’s never the end of it, coz all 8 of us will stand stronger together again..To the person, thanks a lot for the love you showered to us..I do admit I shouldn’t have negative thoughts towards you without giving you a chance. Please forgive me ya? I just want you to know that no matter what happens, we are always here for you. We are not perfect human being and constantly everyone’s changing for good. Thank you so much for showing the willingness to change for us, just remember that you have always been here with us and always will..I love you all, Winnie, Sue Yi, Ann Mei, Swee Mang, Ya Hui, Yee Leng and Dora..

"The beginnings of love is to let those we love be just themselves, and not twist them with our own image - otherwise, we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them."