Self reflection..(terpostponed punya post)

On the 6th January, my group was posted to 1TB and also NICU (1 Nilam). I never went to these wards before and hence was very excited and flip through notes given. Maybe to some people they don’t really like the sounds of babies crying all over, but to me I really enjoyed it a lot from the beginning. The surrounding was cool and conducive for working; hence it is quite different than medical wards. To be honest I wasn’t prepared to give bath for the babies since the previous group mentioned that there’s no baby bath done. I was so nervous but yet excited too because this is the first time I’m performing it on real babies. Previously I didn’t manage to perform this procedure in 2 Topaz because the staff nurse decides to do it themselves.

The baby that I was handling was very quiet at first and was asleep. Unfortunately when I removed his wrapper, he was crying non-stop maybe due to the cold temperature around him. I have to calm him down and also measure the weight. Then getting prepared for bath, since it is something quite new to me, I do admit that somehow my skills are lack of efficiency. Even the way I’m handling the baby was wrong, luckily Pn. Jayah reminded me about it. I should have done it faster so that he won’t get cold. Amazingly, he stopped crying when I finally prepare to do cord dressing and wrap him up again. I feel quite sorry for the baby because maybe I didn’t really clean him well, hopefully I won’t repeat this mistakes again. Still, when handling a baby, we need to treat them just like our own, so we need to be careful and handle them properly since they can’t express their feelings and can only cry. I learn my lesson today that I should not get panic when doing my work because it’ll lead to chaos. Plan every work well and get prepared.

Next, we need to give spoon feeding. The baby looks very cute when sucking milk and I can’t stop myself from laughing. Seriously I feel blessed being given the chance to do it myself, as I feel closer to him. It’s an experience I can never forget. Halfway through while feeding he fell asleep and so I stopped and luckily he finished it.

We then head off to rest and went to 1 Nilam or NICU. Since the neonates in NICU are of preterm babies or babies with serious disease, proper hand washing needs to be done so that no cross infection to these fragile babies. Besides 2 Delima, ICU and CC, NICU are some of the wards which has the biggest budget for equipments. But there’s something which really attracts my attention, baby Ummar who has a tracheostomy and was abandoned by his mother. Sometimes it keeps me thinking why and how can a mother do that to their children? And reality is never that easy. There are also babies who were placed inside the closed incubator; some only weighs around 1 kg or less. While looking at those small little fingers, I really felt touched by it, as it reminds me of God’s biggest creation.

After the visit to NICU with briefing given Sister Tan Beng Geok, we then head back to the nursery once again. Overall, it is some of the best experience I’ve ever had, and surely will never forget. As this time it is very meaningful and I manage to learn alot.

The Sweet Escape..

Just a simple post in order to prevent this blog from freezing and no longer be found..Hmm, honestly despite the bored+cold days of studying, I was surprised to found out someone has actually managed to warm my heart and even taking me for a date..Oops, did I just mentioned a date? Haha, please, I know some of you may have your eyes wide open like ping pong balls or what, but this is not a normal date, it's quite unique indeed..

Previously wasn't feeling very well, since I've received a call from the voice which I have long heard of..It's him..I've been in pain for several months due to the break-up and even swear to myself that I never want to talk to him again, because enough is enough, now, between me and him, there's no longer anything to be thought of. I never want to have anything related to him..

After getting angry for a while, however, later on, someone sms-ed me after he saw my twitter..And he too knows what happened. So me and him was having heart-to-heart conversation for a while that night, and gave me some advice and encouragement too..What I can say was that from having a bad mood that morning, I managed to laugh before I went to sleep..^.^

What's very weird was that the next day he experienced almost the same thing too with his-ex. Some misunderstanding I guess..? And again we sms-ed talking about the "Heart" thingy. And I do agree, this problem is never easy to solve..After several hours, he managed to pull me off for a while and I even accompanied him for dinner later that day (mind you, I was not with him in real life, just SMS). We chat for the whole night and talked bout many things.

The next day, after he finished his two final papers, he invite me to go to Queensbay. How? Haha, nothing is impossible with technology around. Just to make sure I know what he was doing, MMS and SMS were sent to me, it really feels as if I were there! (Never done this before!) What we talked about during the process I just can't tell you here..But overall, it's one of the most wonderful date I've ever gone through..I may not be there, but I really appreciate the effort you've given to make it come true. Thank you so much..That's how I was gone for a sweet escape for 2 days to anywhere but here..


"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart."
by Helen Keller

Waiting For You..

Friendship never dies..I guess it’s purely true..While typing this to be posted into my blog, I was actually listening to Hana Kimi’s song called “Save Me”. It reminds me of a friend who actually really need our help in leading her to the right pathway, and I’m glad that she did choose to improve in order to stay with us. Yesterday, me and 7 other girls was having a discussion, a very rare one,because we never have the time ti spend for each other by giving excuse of doing this and that, but eventually without realizing that we have neglected the friendship, we may look united but that’s not what the heart says. Ironically, we were separated due to attitudes. It’s the very first time we have a heart-to-heart session, and in order to solve unresolved issues. The internal conflict between some of our friends. And it’s about a person we really cared.

All this while, we have been going against her without looking at her pure effort. She has been trying to change herself to someone who was not her, but because she wanted to be a part of us, she tried her best, although she knew she almost reached her limit. She was so much different than before, and I’m very touched with it. Among the 8 of us, she has a different story, a different path, a very difficult one..And after our discussion yesterday without her, we try to compare her advantages and disadvantages, maybe it sounds unfair to her, but we want to know how much she has changed, and to appreciate what she have done. One by one started to express their feelings, how they feel about her all this while when we’re together and how she sometimes makes us angry. Some even cried when they spoke about the situation whereby they were unhappy with her.

But when one of my friend starts, she started crying telling us a story to compare her condition with us. How different she was from us. Just imagine her as a 5-year old who are still trying to walk and run like others do, it’s not that she never try, she tried really hard, that when she falls, she was crying. But none of us understand her effort, because we just want her to be at the same level as us, but we never thought of how hard is it to be her. Even when she falls, there’s no one to help. And when she was so tired of trying, she thought of giving up. My friend paused for a while, unable to hold her tears, because she was the one has given moral support to her. Although she got disappointed sometimes she never stops encouraging her. In order for this 5 year old girl to stand up again and walk like us, it may not be easy, but at least by showing appreciation and care to her, it may be slow, but she will make it till the end, because she knows we will be waiting for her at the end point.

After all of them settled down, it’s finally my turn.

At first, I can still control my emotion. But when I suddenly remembered about what this girl mentioned about her family photo, she said this: “After 22 years, this is the only complete family photo I’d ever had..” I can’t control the tears from rolling down. Because I know compared to her, we were much luckier and happier than she did. At least we still have a complete set of family, and all this while she was just hoping for bits of attention, I know her expectations weren’t high. She maybe smiling from the outside, but no one knew what she’s gone through all these years. I always have a bad impression on her, but I never thought of how she really mind the way I judged her, that do I love her like I love my other friends? Did I ever appreciate all the small souvenirs she bought for me, just to remind me that she remembered me wherever she goes? I felt really guilty, that I just wished the person up there will punished me for being ignorant and neglecting her needs..

After all of us gathered up and even doing a small prayer for her, we try to find solutions to

help her through all the way. Nevertheless, there’s so much we have learned yesterday. We managed to catch back all the memories we had together but it’s never the end of it, coz all 8 of us will stand stronger together again..To the person, thanks a lot for the love you showered to us..I do admit I shouldn’t have negative thoughts towards you without giving you a chance. Please forgive me ya? I just want you to know that no matter what happens, we are always here for you. We are not perfect human being and constantly everyone’s changing for good. Thank you so much for showing the willingness to change for us, just remember that you have always been here with us and always will..I love you all, Winnie, Sue Yi, Ann Mei, Swee Mang, Ya Hui, Yee Leng and Dora..

"The beginnings of love is to let those we love be just themselves, and not twist them with our own image - otherwise, we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them."

Ipoh Mali!! (Part 2)

Ok, the Lost World journey hasn't ended yet, the place are just so beautiful and mesmerizing, getting closer to nature and also our friendships. I just found out that Adeline was actually a person who is soo adorable and Swee Mang always try to resist from laughing at her..Haha..Some more Adeline has a very bad phobia with snake..:p Indeed I gain alot from this trip. what I liked the most is the water slide. O god, I was shouting like hell even before I went down the slides. Haha, I guess everyone in the place could hear me!! It's because I'm phobia of heights, I just dont know why, even while going to the caves, I dont dare to climb the stairs and need to hold on the pole before managed to make a step up! (it gives a chill as if I'm going to fall down!)

Oh, so, it's you who cause the peacock to runaway from us ha..
These beautiful birds are cute! Small and petite.

Mbeeehhheeeekk, according to Adeline..:D
Aiggoo, cute rabbit that just wont move from your palm..

Spring Hair, this lil fella has a head of a rabbit, a body of a kangaroo, first time on display, no wonder it is so shy..:)

So, we enjoyed playing in the Lost World from 10.00am till 6.00pm.Haha, doing the opening and closing ceremony at once! After we finshed shower, suddenly SueYi's grandma paging for us to come back for dinner..haha..Let's head off for dinner ladies! Upon arrival I finally met grandma, she was so cute and funny, not to mention her excellent cooking skills! I love her Bak Kut Teh! (drooling...)

Sambil makan makan I asked: "Mama, did you wait for us for a long time?Sorry oh, we enjoyed till forget the time" (suppose we will arrive at 5pm, unfortunately, we didn't realise the time flies so fast, it's already 6.00pm! paiseh)

"Oh, no la, not long, neh Sue Yi lo, suddenly say at 5pm ma, then so late come.."Mama and her famous Bak Kut Teh..

Aigooo, lama juak Mama tunggu oh..:p then we continue makan..What a great dinner, feels just like home! She also bought a packet of Julie's cheese biscuits for everyone. Haha, so cute la Mama..And later theat night we went to Jusco for some shopping, sadly I didn't find any clothes that matches..herm, nevermind, save money lady, save money..:p

The next day@21.09.09, we went to the Sam Poh Tong, Nam Thean Tong, and Kuan Yin Tong. Honestly I like Kuan Yin Tong the most due to it's beautiful view from the top, it feels so relaxing(although I admit still having problem climbing the stairs..sweating*.*) Alot of Buddhism element in every caves with the cravings and also statue, feels like in China.^.^ After the session of sun-burning, we went to buy some Heong Pneah. It was already 4pm so we stopped our caves journey and head off to have some dinner(at 4pm?haha). Where else? The ever famous Lou Wong Nga Choy Kai la!! yuhhuu, here I come!

Japanese Element found in Kuan Yin Tong..

It's the very first time I saw a restaurant with so many customers that you need to stand besides other people's table to get a seat. Fortunately we found an empty table immediately we arrive, just got lucky again..ngee..The steamed chicken was so soft and tender..Awww...(Flying to the sky dy..) Not having enough, we then walk to the Tau Fu Fah shop, heard they say it was very smooth and selling like hot cakes. Sadly, when we arrive, the workers there are just starting to pack their things.


Yeeleng: "Still got Tau Fu Fah ma?"

Uncle: "Sorry lenglui, finish dy lo..You all came late"

Yeeleng: "But we are from Sarawak wo! Far away to try ur famous Tau Fu Fah!"

Uncle: "Aiyo amoi a, if still got business you think I don't want meh, really don't have liao ma.."

Yeeleng: "Eeee, ngo you tau fu fah a!"

Hahaha..Pandai ah you, guna Sarawak punya nama to trick him ar..No luck, next time please come again..:p

Not giving up, we walked again to the Aun Kheng Lim's for Yim Kok Kai, salted chicken with an oil-paper wrapped around it and cooked from morning till midnight, so the salty taste is locked inside the chicken..Again, no more Yim Kok Kai left..Haiz..This time we throw Yeeleng in again, hopefully the trick will work out.

Yeeleng: "Please la, you still got any stock ma?this girls came far away from Sarawak eh to try Yim Kok Kai, can la..?"

That guy was thinking for a second, when he suddenly said: "Hm, Sarawak a? Ok la, hold on please."

Yabedabedu!!Pure joy..Haha..This time luck is on our side. Will have great supper later on.:p

Successfully having the Yim Kok Kai in our hands, we happily walked back to the car and go shopping at Ipoh Parade. (Instead of getting new clothes I bought some mooncakes for my family :p miss them so much..) Ok ladies, time to go back home ya..

Arrive at home around 8pm, we're waiting for SueYi's friend, Ah Soo aka Mama San to come and fetch us, heard about her before from Sue Yi coz she always called her Maggie Mee, not sure why though. At 9.30pm she came to fetch us. Very cute person indeed and likes to laugh alot! Haha, enjoyed being with her lo, our target that night is to have some dessert as supper at Ipoh town at Tong Sui Gai..But there were too many people around, the waiter there didn't even notice us although we have reminded them to come and take order. Ish..So we decide to leave instead.:(

In the car, Agua Adeline, Tiger Mang, Mama San and Fish SueYi was laughing like hell while I fell asleep..So lame, maybe too tired kot. However after taking bath, I feel refreshed, so guilty towards Mama San, haiz, paiseh mor..Then time for supper, Yim Kok Kai! Haha, honestly it was okok, the small size really stop my appetite.:( RM16 and yet the chicken was only slightly larger than my palm. Stopped half way, I then went to brush my teeth and take my essential sleep till 8am the next morning..

@22.09.09, starting off with Dim Sum, lovely..very full and expensive indeed..:( But what matters most is the taste right?
Later on we went to Kek Lok Tong and Shui Jing Tong. Never thought Kek Lok Tong was so huge and beautiful! Enetering the caves, there's a sudden breeze brushing through my neck..Calming indeed..Sue Yi mentioned that usually when there's a big function her family will come to have dinner with other members of volunteers here. Walking into the cave there's another end with a big recreation park at the back of it, accompanied with lots of monkeys hanging from trees. With it's green background, a man made lake in the middle, really magnificent God's creation.

Then we went to Shui Jing Tong, said to have crystals in it. RM4 per person for entrance fee, hm, not really worth it actually. The crystals are only on certain parts and we are not allowed to take photo's since it may damage the crystals structure and stop it's production. There's a very unique stroy bout this cave however, because it was actually found by a man that has dig this cave on his own for about 14 years! Only then he found out the cave has genuine crystals and his stories even came out on papers. But he is getting old hence he decide to stop his work and retire, I really keen on meeting him, but not sure where he is. :)

Ok, so next up, we went to Kellie's Castle, said to be a haunted one. They say some people claims that Mr Smith's soul and his daughter, Helen can be seen wondering around the corridor of the house. eerrriieeee..*.* I'm amazed with the house's structure, it has alot of spinal stairs, with wine room, a bar, huge dining room, and lots of rooms in it, not to forget the 3 secret passages for escape in case of emergency. Going to the top floor really makes me dizzy, so many small steps of stairs. And there's even a space to land a helicopter too! I wonder if Mr Smith still lives till today, it would have been a very beautiful mansion..

Later on, after going around the mansion, we went back to Ipoh Town, for the big revenge of Tau Fu Fah! Since it was slightly raining, we enjoyed the sweet revenge inside the car..Then went to Ipoh Parade again for some shopping! Since we have a date with Mama San again that night, I promised myself not to fall asleep, take a cool bath and some power nap..hee..

At 9.30pm, she came and this time our target is to see Agua!! And have some snow beer too! Wuhhoo!! What can be more better than this? Hehe..As usual, we laugh like hell and almost explode the car! Ngahaha..Went around Ipoh Town to see it's night view and going to small streets where we can see Agua aka Gifted Woman with Ovary Hanging outside according to Mama San!going round and round does make me feel dizzy, but can't wait to try the Snow Beer! As soon as we landed, Mama San ordered a big bottle of Carlsberg Beer. What's different with Snow Beer is just the amount of bubbles it has, due to different technique of refrigerating. The Carlsberg taste is still there..Feel abit warm inside, just nice.:p


@23.09.09
Planning on going to Perak Tong and also Gunung Lang. Perak Tong is also quite unique with its windy condition inside the caves, and we need to climb high up to see the view of Ipoh and the phobia is still there..*.* but the ladies proceed and I just stay here..It makes me realize how beautiful God's creation can be..We always fought in a battle to improve our lives by working to death but never take a time to just sit back, relax and appreciate God' nature..
20 minutes later, they're back..And they looked so exhausted! Haha, according to Adeline: "If you didnt climb the stairs, you will regret it, but after you climb the stairs, it was WHOOOOAAAAA!!, so high and tiring.."

Bluekk, luckily I didn't went up, you won't be able to carry me from there going down..Haha..:D
So later that day, we went to Gunung Lang, just some brief photo taking sessions and we're done. We go back earlier to pack our things and have our last dinner there..T.T sad..but before leaving let's take some photo, shall we?^.^

Hopo's Lei Cha!!

What's the point going to Ipoh without limau bali?^.^
Curry Chicken Bread, my fav!!

This kuih is so round that it makes me feel I was lookin at myself..
Sorry for the food advertisement, ok, we'll take some pics k?ngee..
Thanks uncle, aunty, dai lou and especially Sue Yi and Yee Leng who has made this trip a very great one!!Domo arigatou!!

"Life is full of beauty. Notice it, Notice the bumblee bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential and fight for your dreams.." by Ashley Smith.

Ipoh Mali...!!

Haha, ya I know the title sounds sooo lame, and hell, I don't even care! I just love being in Ipoh, everything about it, the people, the food, the caves, the road, the night market and of course, Cantonese language!! (managed to fully utilize my skills there~)

Me, Sue Yi, Swee Mang, Adeline and Feh Poh Leng Leng head off to Ipoh on 18th night but before that, we had our dinner at Kebun Sultan and have some yummy desserts at Up 2 U. Thanks to Weng Kin@ Wolfie for being a great driver ya:)

At 9.30pm the bus arrives, herm not very punctual but ya who cares, as long as we reached Ipoh! Ngahahaa..Riding on the bus, there was one guy who was acting very weird, wearing kopiah, baju melayu and kain sarung, looking very religious indeed, asking for donation. I don't really trust those who ask for donations in the middle of a busy raya season like this, it may just be a prank for his own needs. Ignoring what he said, the girls and also Voon Lip who was sitting near to each other got the shock of their life when he suddenly points to Sue Yi and Voon Lip, speaking in Mandarin, he says: "If any of your things got lost in the middle of the road I won't be responsible for it."

Aiks?Aiks? What? What he said?
Ngai di, just because we didn't give any donation, he said bad things like that to us? As if he was cursing us since we didn't do what he wants. Bluek, geram! Then he leaves. Hey, that's why it is called donation, we have the rights not to do so, afterall, we doubted if his pure or not..:p

Leave him there, back to my story, due to traffic jam, the journey goes quite slow and we only arrive in Ipoh around 4.00am. Going down from the bus I finally met Sue Yi's papa, hehe Uncle Lai. He looks skinnier than in the picture, maybe he has been working very hard lately, and Sue Yi's brother, Mr Jun Ann@ Dai Lou helps to carry our bags, thanks! As for Yeeleng, she stops at Medan Gopeng.

Soon after we arrive at Sue Yi's house, it is a double storey house with 4 rooms, and we sleep in Sue Yi's room, washing our face and land our self on the bed..ZZZZ..4 sleeping beauty hav their nap till 8am. Haha, pure joy.

So next we head off to a coffee shop where her mother works, and have some lovely breakfast, such as roti tisu and planta, Hakka Mee, Fried Kuehtiaw, Dai Lok Mee, and Fried Yee Mee, not to forget dried meat bread! I even ordered a cup of cappucino coffee. Just lovely..:) After the heavy breakfast we're having, our next journey is to the Lost World of Tambun in Sunway City. Having lots of fun there! We are lucky since the Petting Zoo has officially opened to public on the same day. We have our hand bands after paying for the ticket, RM30 *.* (expensive huh? but the fee has include the Petting Zoo visit as well, so its worth it!), change our clothes and getting ready to jump into the water..Yihhaaa!!! Luckily the weather was not too sunny, in fact it was raining for a while. Soon after the water session, we're going to the Tiger Valley to watch the feeding session. O god, the tigers are so huge, it weighs 7 times heavier than me! We're so lucky that we even managed to see the fights between 2 youngest tigers. (Cat fight for food, since the other tiger didn't get enough) Unfortunately on of them got hurt, heard the instructor say they may need to stitch it since the wound is quite huge. Hmm..

Then we walked bare foot to the Petting Zoo, aww, the animals are sooo cute and adorable, except for the reptiles..(euw..I hate snakes mor...) Managed to take some photos in there with the birds, rabbits even a small fish I caught, what matters most, it makes me forget all the problems for a while and getting close to nature, I wished the journey just never end..

Will continue in the next blog later tonight, need a break to do something else..dang, I hate assignments..:(

Red bean + Rice ball dessert at Up 2 Uwow, Hakka and special appearances by Mr Roti tisu..:p

Waiting for the Tiger feeding session..ngee..

Exciting fights between the giants..Euw, the water is cold, cold..Wish the water could wash away all the pain..
Yihhaaa, nampak ni?nampak ni?aku dapat ikan!!ngahaha..(dengan eksennya)

Chickie chickeeeenn..hee..:p

Adeline almost break this monkey's arm when she kept spinning it around..:D

Candid!^.^

Hehe, Annmei have just taken some photos this afternoon while waiting for the practice session to start. This is what we've called, BORING!! (Don't take it too seriously, we're doing this just for fun..)
Me: "Ohhh, I'm getting dizzy after donating blood yesterday, almost collapsed in the ward, now we're having practices for OSPE..+_+
Sueyi: "Neh, that person lo, suka suka nia say wana do OSPE, huh!"
Me: "Did you see what I see?"
Sue Yi: " Come shower us with the flashlights please!"
This lady very funny lo, my junior taking nutrition, she was actually on her way for lecture and going late but we asked her to stop by for some photo-shoot session. Haha.
Aiya, still take photo?Hahaha..I love this pic, thanks Mei.:)

Friends are kisses blown to us by angels. ~Author Unknown

Giving hopes, saving lives..

It's not a very busy day, with class starting from 8am-9.30am, almost 5 hours of gap in between before the next class at 5-6.30pm. Sounds very relaxed but actually not! After going back from my English class, I immediately went back to my hostel, accompanied by my hungry stomach, have some good bath and dinner and distributing leaflets to my block's student in block B. Huh, then I head off to DU for Mega Blood donation held by HUSM. Herm, I've joined it during my first year, but I've chosen to escape the second year due to some incident.T_T (Nevertheless, I've won Pensonic toaster from lucky draw! Ngahaha..)

And last night, after I've gathered all my strength, I try to donate blood for the second time, this time calming myself and hopefully no error is done. Luckily after waiting for a while, I managed to donate 450cc of blood. Feel very satisfied indeed! Hm, as usual, lucky draw session was held after the blood donation, and guess what? I'm not going back empty handed! Haha, won a hamper instead! But my friend and batchmate, Annmei has won even a bigger price! A table fan! (Full of jealousy)

But whatever it is, whether I get a hamper or a table fan, the conclusion is that never hesitate to do something good in order to save more lives. I've always wanted to be an organ donor too, but due to certain factor, I may need to let it go. You'll never know how much someone out there is so in need of blood to save their lives, and your decision may be the pen that'll write their future..The criminal who have stolen the fan away from me!! haha...
The other criminal who have stolen the hamper.^_^
The blood bag..
Take a closer look, whose blood is this?
The owner. Haha, ok, so my blood type may not be as popular as the O and AB type, but what matters is the intention to help right?:)
This handsome guy came out of no where, only realised he was at the back of me when I saw this photo!
This guy can't accept the fact he didn't get any lucky draw prizes, so to make him happy, I've entertained him for a while:p
Oh, and again, this time with Annmei's fan.:)
Not satisfied, I took another pic, this time, yours truly.:p

Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day. ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Fish

A day I'll never forget..

In one's life there's surely some moments at which we've locked inside in our minds forever..

Yesterday was a really tiring day, waking up early in the morning at 5.30am, getting prepared for my clinical posting at ophthalmology ward, and of course the ward was famous for the lecturer involved, from all of my course mates experience entering that ward, it was never a pleasant experience. The lecturer was strict and she likes to ask nonsense!! Some of us were even being labeled as class E or G students, and being accused for not bringing along our brain during posting. Oh, whatever. All the complaints that I've heard has somehow make me immune to it. In my mind, I don't even give a damn if she want to scold me stupid or anything. Let her out, maybe that's her therapy in releasing tension.

So, with a relaxed mind and slightly prepared (it was so exhausting the day before and with tonnes of assignments waiting, I just studied important component.) Me and my other group members head off to the ward. As soon as she came in, all of my group members was shocked since she came in earlier than we thought. The rest? herm..We got scolded as 'bengong' bla bla..But I'm cool, to me 'bengong' is still considerable. The clock is ticking slowly, but I just want to go through that ward and preparing for my afternoon posting. Yes, it's 12.30pm!! and I'm free..Phew, luckily I don't get hurt emotionally or else I can't proceed to the next ward..

After having lunch, I went to the neurology ICU ward at 2pm until 4pm. As usual, I do have the feeling of performing some procedures, but unfortunately due to inferiority and feeling insecure, I decide not to touch anything. So we have bedside teaching by the staff nurses in-charge. approximately 3.30pm, the ward suddenly went chaos when an 8-month old baby was having nose-bleed and his blood pressure went so low they immediately call for the doctor. I'm not very clear about the real situation but as soon as I saw something wrong, I went in to see what's happening. All I can see was the doctors were trying to rescucitate the baby and a nurse provides oxygen through bagging. The mother was standing aside and crying.

What's happening? Why everyone suddenly gone chaos because of this baby? Is the baby going to be ok? Will he recover again? Suddenly one of my friend informed me that the baby has sepsis which is the blood stream infection. They've realised something wrong when they found out his hands were cold andthe lips went blue. But before that the baby suffered from many other chronic illness such as meningitis and hydrocephalus. His folder was so thick, I assumed that he must have been in the hospital for quite a long time. Still not wanting to give up yet the doctors tries to recovers the baby's heart beat and blood pressure to normal. I was trying to comfort the mother but didn't even realised that I was also worried and anxious about the baby. At 4pm, everyone was leaving except for me and one of my good friend. Looking at each other without saying a word, we choose to stay for a little while. The ventilator machine was not showing any progress either..

15 minutes later, one of the doctors stopped the rescucitation. Shaking his head and after discussing, they decide to let the baby go..Walking towards the poor mother:" I'm sorry madam, but this is all we can do, we've tried our best, maybe you would like to have your last word with your son.."

Unable to control her feelings, she cried out loud..Calling and asking for her son not to leave her. All of sudden tears came rolling down my cheek..I'm not sure why..Maybe I was too tired? And maybe I really don't want that baby to go..I never knew his mother or the baby himself, and yet why I was crying? Somehow I was trying to put myself in her shoes..Just imagine the relationship between the mother and son..He was only 8 months old, but I can feel that their relationship was so strong..She has been accompanying him all the time when he was in the hospital, from the moment she gave birth to him, taking care of him, feeding him, see him smiling and crying and watching every progress..There's alot of memories they share together..Now that she lost him, she knew she'll never see him again.

I can't bear to watch her say goodbye to the baby, and I try to calm myself from being emotional, heading off to wash my hand and saying good bye to the staff nurses in-charge. As soon as I came out from the ward, I cried again..It makes me feel depressed, that I can't do anything for him..Even till today, the calm innocent face that was lying cold on the bed, is still fresh in my mind..Death is normal in everyday life, each start will come to an end, as nothing lasts forever and eternity..But as for me, I'll never forget this moment for the rest of my life..

Just For Fun..^.^

I am currently listening to a song by Jason Mraz "The Beauty In Ugly", very nice..:)

she's so big hearted,
but not so remarkable
just an ordinary humble girl
expecting nothing as we're made to think
its a pretty person's world

but you are beautiful and you better go show it
go look again, you gotta be true to your own
if you really wanna go to the top
do you really wanna win?
don't believe in living normal, just to satisfy demand

well if you wanna get free
and if you wanna do the passionate thing
and if you wanna get smart for the sake of your heart
you should own your name and stand up tall
and get real and see the beauty in ugly

well you are fresh, you're face is fabulous
don't forget you're one of a kind
when nobody is checking the deeds you've done
and nobody is hearing your cries
you make all of the fashion statements
just by dressing up your mind

well if you wanna get free
and if you wanna do the passionate thing
and if you wanna get smart for the sake of your heart
you should own your name and stand up tall
and get real and see the beauty in ugly
and see the beauty in ugly

well if you wanna get free
and if you wanna do the passionate thing
and if you wanna get smart for the sake of your heart and oh
you should own your name and stand up tall
and get real and see the beauty in ugly
see the beauty in a ugly

Just passing by..

Hey everyone, it's been a long time since I've updated my blog.

Lazy right?

But still I miss my blog so much and have so much to write unfortunately due to a very packed schedule, I need to slow down for a while..

This is where I write down what I can't actually tell other people..Just like a personal diary.

With so many problems coming, the heart is still hurt and bleeding..

But still first thing comes first, will be going to the Psychiatric Unit tomorrow morning, may be some of the most unforgettable experience I wont forget..

In the afternoon, I'll head off for the surgical Orthopedic ward..more new knowledge to come...

Hope that I'll be grant with lots of courage and pure wisdom for days to come.

Kisses,
Alexis.

Temptation..

Yep, talking bout temptation. Starting off this afternoon just would like to share something with all of you. this morning, 10.30am, Suetkee, Yeeleng, Gabriel Nai Ma and me went to the KB PIKOM PC Fair in KB Mall. At first it seems like any other PC Fair, offers and discounts here and there, with new gadgets from a normal mouse to a touch screen PC. But that doesn't matter anyway. So instead of tucking our self in the sea full of people, me and Suetkee went to Popular to look for her senior's farewell presents. Then into the Pacific to hunt for new clothes since it's now Mega Sales Carnival..(WUUUHOOOO!!!) Unfortunately since I'm being really fussy with clothes none of it caught my attention though. fine, save money then. Hikhik..(Kononla:D)

Going back to Guardian (same floor with PC Fair), suddenly I heard a loud call from a very familiar voice..

"DAJIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!" "PAP!"

Apu, what is this lady doing? Oh, it is Yeeleng. Haha. Looking so happy and satisfied I was wondering what makes her smile even more.

" See? I bought a digital camera!! Guess how much is it? RM 399!! Canon brand some more!"

" What? RM399? Are you sure?"

" Ya, and i got a lot of free gift, includes 4GB pen drive, increased memory card 4GB, mini tripod, casing."

" Oh my god, so cheap! Very worth it!"

Suddenly I felt jealous. That greed feeling is coming. Before this greed feeling came, I only have RM40++ with me, since I'm going to Penang tomorrow, so I try to not touch anything. furthermore, I've bought my CNY ticket, it gaves a big hole on my Bank Islam Account, thanks to AirAsia. :( That doesnt include my november tickets yet! Haha. But the camera...It was...So...Cheap...So..Worth It..Huhu..Sad..

Later on, thinking about it, I suddenly remembered. If it is true I have the tendency to buy that thing, do I need it? DO i reeeeaaally need it? Oh, it makes me tired. Why do I have to choose when I know the answer? Hmm, temptation is everywhere. But if I do things according to temptations around me, then I'm going to lose everything even money that I save for the Penang and Ipoh trip! It was really sad not to buy that camera since my family never had one, but first thing comes first. According to neccesity. I'm glad I've made a wise choice. Not only I save money, I don't need to think about how I'm going to spend my whole semester thinking bout money. Nevertheless, Yeeleng was really lucky to get a good bargain. I'm hoping by next semester when I'm financially stable again, I'll get a camera, to capture beautiful moments with my friends and family, perhaps with a new loved one? HikHik..

The Poor Girl..

Just looking for something that we can discuss together for those who read this post. 2 days ago I'v read about a girl who was raped by her stepfather in Kelantan. To some of you, rape cases may sound just like any other ordinary crime done by people who lost their level of consciousness and was provoked by devil to do such thing. But this case was somewhat touching. Although I do not know who that girl was, I still feel it was a very heartless crime done by her step father. The incident was like this (based on reports done by Utusan Malaysia 11 August 2009):

The poor lady was persuaded by her step father to go out with him by telling that he will bring her to town. Unfortunately she realised that her step father was heading to other place instead of going to the town, she was brought to the rubber estate, and was immediately being raped by her step father. Not being able to escape, as her step father's animal instinct has taken control, she shout as loud as possible and fortunately some of the villagers nearby heard the shout for help. Panicked as he realised that the villagers are on the way to stop him, he was taking drastic action by splashing acid towards her daughter. Not just that, she was also stabbed. Next? Scared that he will be punished, the step father drank the acid and was pronounced dead when the villagers arrive.

So, the damn father is dead. The daughter? I just can't say. She is now bearing a severe injury due to the acid and wounds. According to the newspaper report, she was immediately brought to HRPZ II. By the time i was reading the article, it doesn't feel too bad, but still I have sympathy for her.

Yesterday, after Sue Yi was back from her posting, she told me something really shocking. "Jie, you know just now there was a rape case in the ward I'm in. She was a very young lady. Pity her." Suddenly i remembered something: " Hey, if I'm not mistaken , I've read about a case just like what you've mentioned, it is the same girl!!" Yes, it's true, it is the same girl moved to our hospital, in Intensive Care Unit. According to Sue Yi, just by looking at her will make you feel so sad and depressed. She was tied to the bed (this maybe due to avoid her from getting out of control), flipping through her folder, with 40% burn injury on her body and eyes and most probably some of the acid also enters her digestive system. Her face was wrapped with bandages, so can't even see her real features. Imagine how this lady will continue her life in the future..

Honestly if it was me, I don't think I can regain back my strength and continue like normal people do. She is so young, there's so much more beautiful things ahead waiting for her to discover. And because of his eager needs for satisfaction, the hope and faith is no longer there. Just imagine being in her shoes has already make me feel sad, what more the person herself. How can a human being turn into a beast and destroying his children's life. He was free forever since he is no longer here, but what about his daughter? His wife and family? Will they be able to handle the society's bad perception? Only time can determine how their next phase of life will be..

W-inds 26th single-Hybrid Dream!!

Yipee!! I just got the songs from W-inds latest single "Hybrid Dream" from Sim Lee.Haha, luckily I went to her room to pass the Researh Methodology book just now. And before that I left my clothes at the toilet for a while and started listening to the songs alone in my room. Wow, love it so much!! I was previously introduced to this group last year and one of the songs that really attracts me was "MESSAGE" during their '07 concert. The MV was so beautiful at which three of the members Ryohei (leader), Keita and Ryuichi sits together on a dark red sofa, slowly emerging on the center stage, so beautiful indeed. And their feeling while singing the song is so real I can eventually feel as if i were there..

Listening to the song Upside Down, I feel so guilty as it's been a long time since the last time I 've listened to their songs and watching MV's. For this single, the verdict is A+. Haha, to me not only their song has shown some new element in it, including the song "Rain Is Falling" feat G-Dragon (Big Bang) that has this techno and electric feeling. Got me shakin my head and want to dance with the beat! Obviously they have grown up and experiencing new things in order to sustain their standard in Japan's music industry.

As for the song "Hybrid Dream", it gives me a very smooth and calm feeling, according to Sim Lee they even sang th song without breaking down the chain and singing it continuosly. Love this song too! Hm, she is a very good observer and I didnt realise that till she told me. If you think of listening to a song that's not too heavy then this is suitable for you. Next, specially recommended by Sim Lee " Upside Down" (like her also la..haha) The song is quite catchy and it's the first time they sang a song with this rhythm. It was a mixture of everything! What's important is that I can heard Ryuichi's and Ryohei's voice clearly!! Think if I listen to it for a few more times I may catch the lyrics together. And Keita's voice is really good in this song.Ah, again I'm in love with him.*Wink*

Lastly, "You Are.." , hm, not bad but not my most favorite. But still for the first single it is not bad. Now I'm anxiously waiting for the Seventh Avenue concert CD to arrive! There's always soemthing special installed in their concert which is why the tickets to their concert are at high prices and hard to get. Waa..Thanks Sim Lee for making my day so meaningful, hopefully the Cd will arrive soon ya??hikhik..(Parasitism)The adorable Mr Keita..cute smile don't you think?? Haiz, I swear if I see him live I may passed out..

Mr Ryuichi..
The leader Mr Ryohei..hikhik..

Everyday is W-inds day..