Somewhere Over The Rainbow..

Thoughts for Thoughts.

2011-04-22T22:01:00.008+08:00

Hey guys, it's been long after my last entry. It's not that I'm too busy, I do have plenty of sleep though.:p It's just pure laziness. Ha!

Whatever it is, it's our last week of practical, and this time for good! As for the next week, we'll be having visits to PUSAKAS, orphanage and also Rumah Seri Kenangan and maybe Pusat Serenti (if it's confirmed). Time flies, don't you think? Can't wait to be home! (Miss you Mama and Papa!:3)

Keh, just wana shared some of my thoughts lately which I'm sure most of us will be thinking of.

---> Honestly, there's been a lot of news here and there from my friends about furthering their studies. I mean, it's a really great opportunity since we're sill young, why not to? :) But still when this question comes to me, I'll have to say that for now, I don't have the intention to do so. Truth is, I do and is really excited about pursuing my studies again especially in Nursing. It's just that there's too many things to consider. I choose to be faithful to my parents in this lifetime. Please do not misunderstood what I mean, it's not that if your pursuing your studies means you're not filial to your parents keh?:p

My mother is a housewife and is no longer working and my father is a waiter in a hotel. He serves food and drinks, even doing room services, there's only one person working per shift and in order to have extra income he even take the job as a driver to sent his colleague home. But of course, his salary may not be high like other man did, still, that's how he supported our family all this while. And I'm very proud to say this out because I want YOU, YOU and YOU out there to always appreciate the presence of our parents, for it's because of them that we're here today.

They have been my source of strength all this while and doing everything so that I'll get what I want. All I want is the best for them as well.

Having me to further my studies means I need money. I do admit that I'm envious with some of my friends who has set their long term goal much better than mine. My decision might sound stupid and thoughtless. (even I don't really understand what I'm thinking). And for the first time in my life, I feel so certain about this. Which is why I've chosen to give up studying (for the time being, ain't forever keh?) and work for now, and help my father so that he can retire as soon as possible. I may not be doing it well, but I'll give all out for this. What may the future offers me? Let's just wait and see. ^_^ Please pray that I'll pass my nursing board exam and get a good job! And to all of my batch mates who will continue their studies, just do it, and never hesitate. I will definitely provide my support. All the best and May God provide strength in everything you guys have wished for. *Cheers*

Is currently listening to IU's " The Story Only I Didn't Know."

"When you look at your life, the greatest happinesses are family happinesses." ~Joyce Brothers

The Encounter with World's Most Innocent Objects.:D

2011-03-11T09:30:00.013+08:00

For the past 6 weeks, I've been going through a hell of time with the deadline for research coming near together with the very boring O&G posting and exhilarating Neonate & Paeds. ( For once, I do think O&G is definitely not my field.) It was so stressful that I can barely breathe, even my brain wasn't functioning well.:D

However that's not the main point, thesis has been submitted and now I need to focus on presentation next week. Still, I do have sometime to sit back and relax. Alot of movies and drama's to catch up as well~!:p

Since it's been long that I've never updated my blog, hereby I attach some photo's of babies which captured my heart!

First, in Labour Room.

Cute round object #1, is the earliest baby born that morning when morning shifts started. She's really one cool girl~!

Ah, I've told you no photos~! (I guess I woke her up coz of this.)

Blek~!:D sooooo adorable don't you think?

Cute object #2: Found @ Special Care Nursery. Name: Siti Ayuni. She's one of those that attracts me with her bluntness. Definitely looks blur, and only cries when she wants hug or milk.

Man, she always give me this look. Not really responding to what I say.T_T

She may look normal to some of you, 3 months old, small and fragile. Her mother is a cervical cancer survivor, diagnosed when she was 4 months pregnant to Ayuni. Despite knowing the fact that she's pregnant, doctors advised her mother to proceed with chemotherapy. Months later, Ayuni was born, BUT, with massive complications. Which is why she still can't do some things normally done by a 3-month old child. That blank stare. If only I can take her home with me.

Ann Mei and her baby gemuk, serious, if he cries, the whole ward heard him.*_*

Can you see her eyes? It's getting teary. Heee...(No photos of me since I look like a mess from tsunami or something.)

Haha, she's sleepy, time for some bottle-feeding~!

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, as they are the charming gardeners who make our soul blossoms.-Marcel Proust.

Random report for this week.

2010-10-08T13:25:00.007+08:00

It's been quite some time since the last time I've updated this blog. Too lazy to move I guess. Haha. Anyways just a short note regarding this week, boring posting, massive outing, Rachel's birthday celebration and also alot of cam-whoring! Seriously got mixed feelings about it! And next week is my proposal presentation, which I haven't prepared at all.Getting so nervous right now I can't even think properly! But I don't feel like doing anything either..T_T Taking photo while going to Mydin, believe me it was sakai enuf that ppl are all looking at us!:D

Next headed to Leng's room to prepare for Rachel's birthday!!:)

LOL, none stop cam-whoring..Seriously crazy.
Potential legs with varicose vain due to prolonged standing.SAD!T_T

The special pizza we ate that day, it was nice! Well don't ask me bout the fish, I have no idea where on earth does it came from.

Every little thing that makes you happy..

2010-09-19T17:39:00.009+08:00

Haha, seriously can't help myself from laughing because today was indeed it was a really great day!

One of the reason is because I didn't get scolded by my facilitator for the TL tasks today, and got to work with a bunch o Diploma boys and girls! They've been really cooperative which makes it damn fun!:)

Another reason is because I got a special delivery from a friend, Sim Lee. Hee, although she is not here right now, far away from Kelantan, it was surprising that she bother to deliver me a CD, and it's not a normal CD, it's from W-inds! 2009 Sweet Fantasy Concert Live at Hong Kong!

Haha, apparently she won it from a competition! Congratulations lo!

Hahaha, can't help myself from stop laughing coz in a really high mood right now! Below I'll show you the items, she sent to me. Thanks my dear friend for remembering my presence, it really made my day, thanks for your support, I'll try my best! Let's strive harder for our study and life, and hopefully we'll make it to W-inds 10th anniversary concert!!:p

The W-inds DVD, Live Tour, 2009 Sweet Fantasy In Hong Kong~!

The letter with very unique piece of paper..:D Thanks for the encouragement, I'm more motivated now!

SHINee's poster! Choi Min-Ho, Onew, Jong-Hyun, Key and Tae-Min!!WUHOOO!!

Tada, my latest possessions! Can't let them go of my hands...Muahaha..:D Thank you once again Sim Lee~!

"The world would be so lonely, in sunny hours or gray. Without the gift of friendship, to help us everyday.." - Hilda Brett Farr

Money, Money, Money..

2010-08-06T20:12:00.009+08:00

Yay, went for small shopping spree today with my roomate Miss Nana and Dora to Mydin. Was thinking of going to psar malam after that. Got everything I needed, I guess?

----> Lady's Choice Peanut Butter with Chocolate Stripes RM 7.95(Best item bought today! Has been searching for it last week but no stock, finally!)

----> Fab Colour (cheap, RM 10.90 with extra 400gm)

----> Maggi Mee Asam Laksa RM 4.39 (Thank to Grete the Grapes yang telah membuatkan saya jatuh cinta sama ini flavour)

----> Nutriplus Egg RM 3.59 (Grade A with golden yolk for my maggi mee..yahoo..)

----> Pati ayam Brand's RM26.30 (was having cold extremities lately, mama suggest that I buy this to actually warm up my temperature and it's good for circulation, have to buy coz scared later mama scold me)

----------------------> Total: RM 56.95..

Next we head to Pasar Malam nearby and I bought a glass of cincau with Nasi Goreng Ikan Masin. ----> Total: RM 3.00

Got back and was quite dissapointed with the nasi goreng, man, the prawn taste raw!! But still, luckily it's only RM2, if not I think I prefer have Maggi for dinner instead. And thanks to the cincau, it really saves my day.:)

Awkard-ness..:p

2010-08-06T00:29:00.003+08:00

Man, this is my first time writting a blog 12.31am in the morning..Having deep thoughts of what to do tomorrow, yes. Research. Research. Life do sucks at times. Especially when you need to finish your proposal with 3 chapter within 2 weeks. (Despite the fact that my proposal presentation will only be on mid of October) It gives you the feeling of nausea and giddiness.

Now listening to Big Bang's song "Tell Me Goodbye". Sounds great, it has been filling my ears for like few hours already. Speaking about this week, a lot of drastic things happened that seriously makes me feel slightly unhappy. But whatever it is, life goes on. And only you yourself can change it, whether you want it to be good or bad in the end.

In conclusion, I'm just plain bored. Start bla bla-ing and I think now it's time for me to sleep. Oyasuminasi neh.:D

A letter for you.

2010-03-26T10:26:00.016+08:00

I'm writing this letter for a very special person, since I don't have much courage to face you, this is the only thing I can do to convey my last message to you. Sorry if the presence of this letter disrupts the flow of your life. But still there's alot of thing that I've been wanting to mention to you but I'm unable to because I'm scared it will hurt you. Not that I never have happy moments with you that I still remember till today, but watching how everythng changed drastically makes me think. What have we gone through that you've changed like this? I'm not a perfect person, and I know I've made alot of mistakes too.

But thinking back how we've known each other and learning both ways, it amazed me that somehow there's someone special like you who've managed to enlightened my life pulling me through the darkness and make me see those beautiful skies. It was heartbreaking to find that nothing is everlasting, promises made but none of it has come true, I know I dont deserve it at all because I too didnt manage to do anything or you. Amazingly, thorugh we never met, but there was a sense of calmness while talking to you. As time goes by, feelings do change and the old situation no longer exist, suddenly I felt like I'm talking to another stranger. It was painful to go through the process of adapting to the 'new' you..Was crying for few days thinking what could I have done wrong. am I not being good enough? Am I being too selfish at times that I never tried to understand you? Am I being too stupid that I'm not able to understand the changes you've gone through? All of this has been lingering in my mind till today. One thing you never realised, is that once you've made this decision, is it going to affect only you? Did you ever consider about me, who was also affected by it? To realise that old promises will no longer become true, and to realise that I can no longer depend on you, was like giving me a major tasks to retidy myself, back to zero. It's hard to not get upset. Slowly I've realised my major mistakes all this while, being too dependent on you, when I thought you're the one I can count on. Maybe that is why, I can't even learn how to let go just yet.

What I regret the most after the fight, was the drastic change in you. No more concern, even if there was, it was only temporary. Did you ever think of how I feel when I've heard your voice on the phone, how much I've wanted the old you back. It was selfish and childish, I admit. How to expect someone to change for me when I myself can never really do that. I know I'm a passive speaker but I'm listening attentively to you, because everything that you've said matters alot and I'm trying my best to make it up to you. I may not be able to express everything just like you did, because to me you have alot more things to worried about, making you worried is the last thing I ever wanted to do, for your thoughts matters alot to me. I may not be able to go and console just like the rest but trying to listen to your problem whenever you're down, I'm willing to do it.

And about jealousy, yes, I do admit that I'm jealous that I'm not able to be with you when you need me and to have meal with you and talking about everything in your life. But did you ever think of putting yourself on my shoes? People always say they understands, but how they know what it feels, when they are not actually you, yourself? But it was dissapointing that you never really understand who I am. Like I've said before, female are of very fragile creature, we are sensitive and even the smallest thing matters alot. Even a simple phone call, or even a simple sms may affect our whole day. I dont know how many times I've been trying to hold myself back from you, trying to avoid myself from being angry and get mad at you, for you dont deserve to be treated like that.

Did you ever appreciate my presence when I'm with you..? After several months of long distance conversation, finally I get the chance to come over for the first time to meet you. I was touched when I found out that you were actually waiting for me to come. Getting nervous and restless, I can't even sleep that night, because I've been longing to see you too. Somehow or rather, it was dissapointing to find out, that I may not be just like you've ever wanted, as a person you have in mind. Was totally dissapointed when I look at how you were looking back at me, because it's just like disrespsecting me. But I guess, there must have been a small disaster going round in your head. I'm sorry if all the pictures that you've seen before doesn't really reflect who I am right now. I am after all, not that beautiful and curvy like other people did. But when I looked at you for the first time, can't deny that I've finally met the real you! And the main reason why I was there is to have sometime lone with you, to tidy back all the mess I've done and to know how each of us feel about our relationship. Unfortunately, I've missed the chance to do so..But then, I think it doesn't really matter anymore for looking at your smile, the smile is still the same. Was lucky that somehow I managed to capture it into my heart so that I'll be able to remember it for the rest of my life. There's alot of things that I've wanted to share with you and was hoping that the day will never end.

One thing for sure, to forget you..Is never easy. But maybe that's how life goes, people come and go. Spending some time with you even though for this short period of time, are some of the most precious moment I ever had. It was like riding a roller coaster, exciting and fun, but when it's time to settle down, that's the time when you need to leave the seat and go on. Thank you for being with me, for all your love and concern, there's nothing else to replace the feeling..Wishing that you'll go through everyday with happiness and you'll succeed in everything you do. Never stop smiling because it means alot to everyone else around you. And today, is our 1st date anniversary, remember? Happy Last Anniversary..Whatever it is, thank you once again, I'm hoping you'll get the best in life, for every mistakes I've done and those damage that I can never repair, I'm sorry and I Love You.

The very first week of the endless journey..

2010-03-07T15:41:00.006+08:00

Well, it's the very first week of posting in female medical ward of HUSM, 7U and of course counted as 0 week as it is not yet officially the academic week yet. But still, even the thoughts of enetering it as a full time student just like normal staff nurses do really freaks the hell out of me!!:S

Was having sleepless night because of it and to make it worst..I caught flu and was coughing like crazy!! My, what on earth is happening to me? But trying to be more positive, I told myself to stay strong and don't bother bout it. That's just the early stage by the way..Clinical postings weren't the only thing that worries me,research title too was not yet fixed as there's alot of problem, from the title itself to the "choosing supervisor" part. After I go through several journals with good title to choose from, I finally met the course coordinator to confirm my title, unfortunately although she was satisfie with the title, she does not agree with my choice of supervisor for some reasons..

Below was the conversation:

CC: So Siik Fung, have you found the title you wanted to do?

Me: Yes maam, I found mine dy.

CC: Ok, so what title is it?

Me: Barriers towards blood donation among undergraduate students?

CC: Significant please?.....(conversation continues well as she agrees with the title and suddenly..)

CC: Who do you want to choose as your supervisor?

Me: Hm, I do think of having .... as my supervisor, because she has exprience in doing things like this.

CC: Well, are you sure if .... becomes your supervisor that she'll commit all her time for you and assist you along the way?

Me: Sure maam, I've even asked opinons from my senior and she does give crdeit to this person as my supervisor.

CC: You know she's doing her thesis right?

Me: Yes, I do, but if she's willing of taking me in to be supervised I'll be more than glad.

CC: I just don't want you to make the wrong decision as this will require youe supervisor to be fully responsible to your work, I'm worried that she will not have the time for you and leaving you like you're not having one.

Me: Hm? But I thought she was a good supervisor?

CC: But what I've heard from others were different, you title is good but make sure you make the right decision because I don't want you all to end up crying and looking for me to change anything. When you've decided, please sms me ok?

Me: Oh, ok..

And there it goes, another obstacle after another. Why on earth am I not surprised..I just knew it won't be so easy. But why did she kept on saying that? Why did she kept on emphasizing the same thing? I thought all of us were free to choose the supervisor of our choice, but is it that when it come to this person, a lot of questions occur? Sigh, now I'm lost for words..Trying my best not to give up yet, I tried plan B, find the previous course coordinator for her advise or maybe ask her to take me under her?

Me: Madam may I know are you still available to be my supervisor?

Ex CC: What title do you plan to do?

Me: .....

Ex CC: Hm, why is it that you didn't pick .... as your supervisor, she is teaching you this subject last year right?

Me: Ya, I know and alert about that, but the problem is our new CC told me different thing, that it may not be a good decision doing this topic under her due to...

Ex CC: Please do not listen to anyone else about it, sometimes it may be due to internal conflict between them that such thing surfaced. Ok, you try to ask .... whether she's willing to supervise you or not, if not only then you come to me.

Me: Oh, ok..

And there goes another contradicting statement from ex CC. Man, I was too stressed out that I've decided to stop thinking about it. but we can't run from problems forever right? So instead I tried to call the person instead, but!! She was not satisfied with the tite I've selected, instead I was asked to do something related to nursing and patient care. Got really speechelss that time. After several discussions done with my nursing ladies, I was convinced to stick to that title and I need to persuade the person to accept my title or else I have to find another person as my supervisor. Now @1547H, 9th July, I'm still holding on to my handphone, thinking bout what to say and defend myself. It is very very tiring. Hopefully before tonight, I'll be able to tell her about what I think. Just got my fingers crossed hopefully she'll understand..T_T

"The great breakthrough in life is when you comes when you realize that you can learn anything that you need to learn to accomplish any goal that you set for yourself. This means there is no limit of what you can be, have or do. I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge, knowledge is limited but imagination? It encircles the world."- Albert Einstein

Adele' Chasing Pavements..

2010-01-26T15:14:00.007+08:00

I've made up my mind, don't need to think it over
If I'm wrong I am right, don't need to look no further

This ain't lust, I know this is love...

But if I tell the world, I'll never say enough

Cause it was not said to you

And that's exactly what I need to do if I'd end up with you..

Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements

Even if it leads nowhere?

Or would it be a waste even if I knew my place

Should I leave it there?

Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements

Even if it leads nowhere?

I build myself up and fly around in circles

Wait then as my heart drops and my back begins tingle

Finally could this be it?

Some of the lyrics found in Adele's Chasing Pavements. At first it didn't really attract me but after finished listening to it, somehow this song reminds me of my current condition, stuck in the middle and not knowing which way to go..The music is rather relaxed and soothes my mind..Quite nice, have a try.:)

Self reflection..(terpostponed punya post)

2009-11-13T11:40:00.007+08:00

On the 6th January, my group was posted to 1TB and also NICU (1 Nilam). I never went to these wards before and hence was very excited and flip through notes given. Maybe to some people they don’t really like the sounds of babies crying all over, but to me I really enjoyed it a lot from the beginning. The surrounding was cool and conducive for working; hence it is quite different than medical wards. To be honest I wasn’t prepared to give bath for the babies since the previous group mentioned that there’s no baby bath done. I was so nervous but yet excited too because this is the first time I’m performing it on real babies. Previously I didn’t manage to perform this procedure in 2 Topaz because the staff nurse decides to do it themselves.

The baby that I was handling was very quiet at first and was asleep. Unfortunately when I removed his wrapper, he was crying non-stop maybe due to the cold temperature around him. I have to calm him down and also measure the weight. Then getting prepared for bath, since it is something quite new to me, I do admit that somehow my skills are lack of efficiency. Even the way I’m handling the baby was wrong, luckily Pn. Jayah reminded me about it. I should have done it faster so that he won’t get cold. Amazingly, he stopped crying when I finally prepare to do cord dressing and wrap him up again. I feel quite sorry for the baby because maybe I didn’t really clean him well, hopefully I won’t repeat this mistakes again. Still, when handling a baby, we need to treat them just like our own, so we need to be careful and handle them properly since they can’t express their feelings and can only cry. I learn my lesson today that I should not get panic when doing my work because it’ll lead to chaos. Plan every work well and get prepared.

Next, we need to give spoon feeding. The baby looks very cute when sucking milk and I can’t stop myself from laughing. Seriously I feel blessed being given the chance to do it myself, as I feel closer to him. It’s an experience I can never forget. Halfway through while feeding he fell asleep and so I stopped and luckily he finished it.

We then head off to rest and went to 1 Nilam or NICU. Since the neonates in NICU are of preterm babies or babies with serious disease, proper hand washing needs to be done so that no cross infection to these fragile babies. Besides 2 Delima, ICU and CC, NICU are some of the wards which has the biggest budget for equipments. But there’s something which really attracts my attention, baby Ummar who has a tracheostomy and was abandoned by his mother. Sometimes it keeps me thinking why and how can a mother do that to their children? And reality is never that easy. There are also babies who were placed inside the closed incubator; some only weighs around 1 kg or less. While looking at those small little fingers, I really felt touched by it, as it reminds me of God’s biggest creation.

After the visit to NICU with briefing given Sister Tan Beng Geok, we then head back to the nursery once again. Overall, it is some of the best experience I’ve ever had, and surely will never forget. As this time it is very meaningful and I manage to learn alot.

The Sweet Escape..

2009-11-07T20:08:00.004+08:00

Just a simple post in order to prevent this blog from freezing and no longer be found..Hmm, honestly despite the bored+cold days of studying, I was surprised to found out someone has actually managed to warm my heart and even taking me for a date..Oops, did I just mentioned a date? Haha, please, I know some of you may have your eyes wide open like ping pong balls or what, but this is not a normal date, it's quite unique indeed..

Previously wasn't feeling very well, since I've received a call from the voice which I have long heard of..It's him..I've been in pain for several months due to the break-up and even swear to myself that I never want to talk to him again, because enough is enough, now, between me and him, there's no longer anything to be thought of. I never want to have anything related to him..

After getting angry for a while, however, later on, someone sms-ed me after he saw my twitter..And he too knows what happened. So me and him was having heart-to-heart conversation for a while that night, and gave me some advice and encouragement too..What I can say was that from having a bad mood that morning, I managed to laugh before I went to sleep..^.^

What's very weird was that the next day he experienced almost the same thing too with his-ex. Some misunderstanding I guess..? And again we sms-ed talking about the "Heart" thingy. And I do agree, this problem is never easy to solve..After several hours, he managed to pull me off for a while and I even accompanied him for dinner later that day (mind you, I was not with him in real life, just SMS). We chat for the whole night and talked bout many things.

The next day, after he finished his two final papers, he invite me to go to Queensbay. How? Haha, nothing is impossible with technology around. Just to make sure I know what he was doing, MMS and SMS were sent to me, it really feels as if I were there! (Never done this before!) What we talked about during the process I just can't tell you here..But overall, it's one of the most wonderful date I've ever gone through..I may not be there, but I really appreciate the effort you've given to make it come true. Thank you so much..That's how I was gone for a sweet escape for 2 days to anywhere but here..

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart."
by Helen Keller

Waiting For You..

2009-10-25T09:23:00.007+08:00

Friendship never dies..I guess it’s purely true..While typing this to be posted into my blog, I was actually listening to Hana Kimi’s song called “Save Me”. It reminds me of a friend who actually really need our help in leading her to the right pathway, and I’m glad that she did choose to improve in order to stay with us. Yesterday, me and 7 other girls was having a discussion, a very rare one,because we never have the time ti spend for each other by giving excuse of doing this and that, but eventually without realizing that we have neglected the friendship, we may look united but that’s not what the heart says. Ironically, we were separated due to attitudes. It’s the very first time we have a heart-to-heart session, and in order to solve unresolved issues. The internal conflict between some of our friends. And it’s about a person we really cared.

All this while, we have been going against her without looking at her pure effort. She has been trying to change herself to someone who was not her, but because she wanted to be a part of us, she tried her best, although she knew she almost reached her limit. She was so much different than before, and I’m very touched with it. Among the 8 of us, she has a different story, a different path, a very difficult one..And after our discussion yesterday without her, we try to compare her advantages and disadvantages, maybe it sounds unfair to her, but we want to know how much she has changed, and to appreciate what she have done. One by one started to express their feelings, how they feel about her all this while when we’re together and how she sometimes makes us angry. Some even cried when they spoke about the situation whereby they were unhappy with her.

But when one of my friend starts, she started crying telling us a story to compare her condition with us. How different she was from us. Just imagine her as a 5-year old who are still trying to walk and run like others do, it’s not that she never try, she tried really hard, that when she falls, she was crying. But none of us understand her effort, because we just want her to be at the same level as us, but we never thought of how hard is it to be her. Even when she falls, there’s no one to help. And when she was so tired of trying, she thought of giving up. My friend paused for a while, unable to hold her tears, because she was the one has given moral support to her. Although she got disappointed sometimes she never stops encouraging her. In order for this 5 year old girl to stand up again and walk like us, it may not be easy, but at least by showing appreciation and care to her, it may be slow, but she will make it till the end, because she knows we will be waiting for her at the end point.

After all of them settled down, it’s finally my turn.

At first, I can still control my emotion. But when I suddenly remembered about what this girl mentioned about her family photo, she said this: “After 22 years, this is the only complete family photo I’d ever had..” I can’t control the tears from rolling down. Because I know compared to her, we were much luckier and happier than she did. At least we still have a complete set of family, and all this while she was just hoping for bits of attention, I know her expectations weren’t high. She maybe smiling from the outside, but no one knew what she’s gone through all these years. I always have a bad impression on her, but I never thought of how she really mind the way I judged her, that do I love her like I love my other friends? Did I ever appreciate all the small souvenirs she bought for me, just to remind me that she remembered me wherever she goes? I felt really guilty, that I just wished the person up there will punished me for being ignorant and neglecting her needs..

After all of us gathered up and even doing a small prayer for her, we try to find solutions to

help her through all the way. Nevertheless, there’s so much we have learned yesterday. We managed to catch back all the memories we had together but it’s never the end of it, coz all 8 of us will stand stronger together again..To the person, thanks a lot for the love you showered to us..I do admit I shouldn’t have negative thoughts towards you without giving you a chance. Please forgive me ya? I just want you to know that no matter what happens, we are always here for you. We are not perfect human being and constantly everyone’s changing for good. Thank you so much for showing the willingness to change for us, just remember that you have always been here with us and always will..I love you all, Winnie, Sue Yi, Ann Mei, Swee Mang, Ya Hui, Yee Leng and Dora..

"The beginnings of love is to let those we love be just themselves, and not twist them with our own image - otherwise, we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them."

Ipoh Mali!! (Part 2)

2009-09-25T22:42:00.015+08:00

Ok, the Lost World journey hasn't ended yet, the place are just so beautiful and mesmerizing, getting closer to nature and also our friendships. I just found out that Adeline was actually a person who is soo adorable and Swee Mang always try to resist from laughing at her..Haha..Some more Adeline has a very bad phobia with snake..:p Indeed I gain alot from this trip. what I liked the most is the water slide. O god, I was shouting like hell even before I went down the slides. Haha, I guess everyone in the place could hear me!! It's because I'm phobia of heights, I just dont know why, even while going to the caves, I dont dare to climb the stairs and need to hold on the pole before managed to make a step up! (it gives a chill as if I'm going to fall down!)

Oh, so, it's you who cause the peacock to runaway from us ha..
These beautiful birds are cute! Small and petite.

Mbeeehhheeeekk, according to Adeline..:D
Aiggoo, cute rabbit that just wont move from your palm..

Spring Hair, this lil fella has a head of a rabbit, a body of a kangaroo, first time on display, no wonder it is so shy..:)

So, we enjoyed playing in the Lost World from 10.00am till 6.00pm.Haha, doing the opening and closing ceremony at once! After we finshed shower, suddenly SueYi's grandma paging for us to come back for dinner..haha..Let's head off for dinner ladies! Upon arrival I finally met grandma, she was so cute and funny, not to mention her excellent cooking skills! I love her Bak Kut Teh! (drooling...)

Sambil makan makan I asked: "Mama, did you wait for us for a long time?Sorry oh, we enjoyed till forget the time" (suppose we will arrive at 5pm, unfortunately, we didn't realise the time flies so fast, it's already 6.00pm! paiseh)

"Oh, no la, not long, neh Sue Yi lo, suddenly say at 5pm ma, then so late come.."Mama and her famous Bak Kut Teh..

Aigooo, lama juak Mama tunggu oh..:p then we continue makan..What a great dinner, feels just like home! She also bought a packet of Julie's cheese biscuits for everyone. Haha, so cute la Mama..And later theat night we went to Jusco for some shopping, sadly I didn't find any clothes that matches..herm, nevermind, save money lady, save money..:p

The next day@21.09.09, we went to the Sam Poh Tong, Nam Thean Tong, and Kuan Yin Tong. Honestly I like Kuan Yin Tong the most due to it's beautiful view from the top, it feels so relaxing(although I admit still having problem climbing the stairs..sweating*.*) Alot of Buddhism element in every caves with the cravings and also statue, feels like in China.^.^ After the session of sun-burning, we went to buy some Heong Pneah. It was already 4pm so we stopped our caves journey and head off to have some dinner(at 4pm?haha). Where else? The ever famous Lou Wong Nga Choy Kai la!! yuhhuu, here I come!

Japanese Element found in Kuan Yin Tong..

It's the very first time I saw a restaurant with so many customers that you need to stand besides other people's table to get a seat. Fortunately we found an empty table immediately we arrive, just got lucky again..ngee..The steamed chicken was so soft and tender..Awww...(Flying to the sky dy..) Not having enough, we then walk to the Tau Fu Fah shop, heard they say it was very smooth and selling like hot cakes. Sadly, when we arrive, the workers there are just starting to pack their things.

Yeeleng: "Still got Tau Fu Fah ma?"

Uncle: "Sorry lenglui, finish dy lo..You all came late"

Yeeleng: "But we are from Sarawak wo! Far away to try ur famous Tau Fu Fah!"

Uncle: "Aiyo amoi a, if still got business you think I don't want meh, really don't have liao ma.."

Yeeleng: "Eeee, ngo you tau fu fah a!"

Hahaha..Pandai ah you, guna Sarawak punya nama to trick him ar..No luck, next time please come again..:p

Not giving up, we walked again to the Aun Kheng Lim's for Yim Kok Kai, salted chicken with an oil-paper wrapped around it and cooked from morning till midnight, so the salty taste is locked inside the chicken..Again, no more Yim Kok Kai left..Haiz..This time we throw Yeeleng in again, hopefully the trick will work out.

Yeeleng: "Please la, you still got any stock ma?this girls came far away from Sarawak eh to try Yim Kok Kai, can la..?"

That guy was thinking for a second, when he suddenly said: "Hm, Sarawak a? Ok la, hold on please."

Yabedabedu!!Pure joy..Haha..This time luck is on our side. Will have great supper later on.:p

Successfully having the Yim Kok Kai in our hands, we happily walked back to the car and go shopping at Ipoh Parade. (Instead of getting new clothes I bought some mooncakes for my family :p miss them so much..) Ok ladies, time to go back home ya..

Arrive at home around 8pm, we're waiting for SueYi's friend, Ah Soo aka Mama San to come and fetch us, heard about her before from Sue Yi coz she always called her Maggie Mee, not sure why though. At 9.30pm she came to fetch us. Very cute person indeed and likes to laugh alot! Haha, enjoyed being with her lo, our target that night is to have some dessert as supper at Ipoh town at Tong Sui Gai..But there were too many people around, the waiter there didn't even notice us although we have reminded them to come and take order. Ish..So we decide to leave instead.:(

In the car, Agua Adeline, Tiger Mang, Mama San and Fish SueYi was laughing like hell while I fell asleep..So lame, maybe too tired kot. However after taking bath, I feel refreshed, so guilty towards Mama San, haiz, paiseh mor..Then time for supper, Yim Kok Kai! Haha, honestly it was okok, the small size really stop my appetite.:( RM16 and yet the chicken was only slightly larger than my palm. Stopped half way, I then went to brush my teeth and take my essential sleep till 8am the next morning..

@22.09.09, starting off with Dim Sum, lovely..very full and expensive indeed..:( But what matters most is the taste right?
Later on we went to Kek Lok Tong and Shui Jing Tong. Never thought Kek Lok Tong was so huge and beautiful! Enetering the caves, there's a sudden breeze brushing through my neck..Calming indeed..Sue Yi mentioned that usually when there's a big function her family will come to have dinner with other members of volunteers here. Walking into the cave there's another end with a big recreation park at the back of it, accompanied with lots of monkeys hanging from trees. With it's green background, a man made lake in the middle, really magnificent God's creation.

Then we went to Shui Jing Tong, said to have crystals in it. RM4 per person for entrance fee, hm, not really worth it actually. The crystals are only on certain parts and we are not allowed to take photo's since it may damage the crystals structure and stop it's production. There's a very unique stroy bout this cave however, because it was actually found by a man that has dig this cave on his own for about 14 years! Only then he found out the cave has genuine crystals and his stories even came out on papers. But he is getting old hence he decide to stop his work and retire, I really keen on meeting him, but not sure where he is. :)

Ok, so next up, we went to Kellie's Castle, said to be a haunted one. They say some people claims that Mr Smith's soul and his daughter, Helen can be seen wondering around the corridor of the house. eerrriieeee..*.* I'm amazed with the house's structure, it has alot of spinal stairs, with wine room, a bar, huge dining room, and lots of rooms in it, not to forget the 3 secret passages for escape in case of emergency. Going to the top floor really makes me dizzy, so many small steps of stairs. And there's even a space to land a helicopter too! I wonder if Mr Smith still lives till today, it would have been a very beautiful mansion..

Later on, after going around the mansion, we went back to Ipoh Town, for the big revenge of Tau Fu Fah! Since it was slightly raining, we enjoyed the sweet revenge inside the car..Then went to Ipoh Parade again for some shopping! Since we have a date with Mama San again that night, I promised myself not to fall asleep, take a cool bath and some power nap..hee..

At 9.30pm, she came and this time our target is to see Agua!! And have some snow beer too! Wuhhoo!! What can be more better than this? Hehe..As usual, we laugh like hell and almost explode the car! Ngahaha..Went around Ipoh Town to see it's night view and going to small streets where we can see Agua aka Gifted Woman with Ovary Hanging outside according to Mama San!going round and round does make me feel dizzy, but can't wait to try the Snow Beer! As soon as we landed, Mama San ordered a big bottle of Carlsberg Beer. What's different with Snow Beer is just the amount of bubbles it has, due to different technique of refrigerating. The Carlsberg taste is still there..Feel abit warm inside, just nice.:p

@23.09.09
Planning on going to Perak Tong and also Gunung Lang. Perak Tong is also quite unique with its windy condition inside the caves, and we need to climb high up to see the view of Ipoh and the phobia is still there..*.* but the ladies proceed and I just stay here..It makes me realize how beautiful God's creation can be..We always fought in a battle to improve our lives by working to death but never take a time to just sit back, relax and appreciate God' nature..
20 minutes later, they're back..And they looked so exhausted! Haha, according to Adeline: "If you didnt climb the stairs, you will regret it, but after you climb the stairs, it was WHOOOOAAAAA!!, so high and tiring.."

Bluekk, luckily I didn't went up, you won't be able to carry me from there going down..Haha..:D
So later that day, we went to Gunung Lang, just some brief photo taking sessions and we're done. We go back earlier to pack our things and have our last dinner there..T.T sad..but before leaving let's take some photo, shall we?^.^

Hopo's Lei Cha!!

What's the point going to Ipoh without limau bali?^.^
Curry Chicken Bread, my fav!!

This kuih is so round that it makes me feel I was lookin at myself..
Sorry for the food advertisement, ok, we'll take some pics k?ngee..
Thanks uncle, aunty, dai lou and especially Sue Yi and Yee Leng who has made this trip a very great one!!Domo arigatou!!

"Life is full of beauty. Notice it, Notice the bumblee bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential and fight for your dreams.." by Ashley Smith.

Ipoh Mali...!!

2009-09-25T12:13:00.011+08:00

Haha, ya I know the title sounds sooo lame, and hell, I don't even care! I just love being in Ipoh, everything about it, the people, the food, the caves, the road, the night market and of course, Cantonese language!! (managed to fully utilize my skills there~)

Me, Sue Yi, Swee Mang, Adeline and Feh Poh Leng Leng head off to Ipoh on 18th night but before that, we had our dinner at Kebun Sultan and have some yummy desserts at Up 2 U. Thanks to Weng Kin@ Wolfie for being a great driver ya:)

At 9.30pm the bus arrives, herm not very punctual but ya who cares, as long as we reached Ipoh! Ngahahaa..Riding on the bus, there was one guy who was acting very weird, wearing kopiah, baju melayu and kain sarung, looking very religious indeed, asking for donation. I don't really trust those who ask for donations in the middle of a busy raya season like this, it may just be a prank for his own needs. Ignoring what he said, the girls and also Voon Lip who was sitting near to each other got the shock of their life when he suddenly points to Sue Yi and Voon Lip, speaking in Mandarin, he says: "If any of your things got lost in the middle of the road I won't be responsible for it."

Aiks?Aiks? What? What he said?
Ngai di, just because we didn't give any donation, he said bad things like that to us? As if he was cursing us since we didn't do what he wants. Bluek, geram! Then he leaves. Hey, that's why it is called donation, we have the rights not to do so, afterall, we doubted if his pure or not..:p

Leave him there, back to my story, due to traffic jam, the journey goes quite slow and we only arrive in Ipoh around 4.00am. Going down from the bus I finally met Sue Yi's papa, hehe Uncle Lai. He looks skinnier than in the picture, maybe he has been working very hard lately, and Sue Yi's brother, Mr Jun Ann@ Dai Lou helps to carry our bags, thanks! As for Yeeleng, she stops at Medan Gopeng.

Soon after we arrive at Sue Yi's house, it is a double storey house with 4 rooms, and we sleep in Sue Yi's room, washing our face and land our self on the bed..ZZZZ..4 sleeping beauty hav their nap till 8am. Haha, pure joy.

So next we head off to a coffee shop where her mother works, and have some lovely breakfast, such as roti tisu and planta, Hakka Mee, Fried Kuehtiaw, Dai Lok Mee, and Fried Yee Mee, not to forget dried meat bread! I even ordered a cup of cappucino coffee. Just lovely..:) After the heavy breakfast we're having, our next journey is to the Lost World of Tambun in Sunway City. Having lots of fun there! We are lucky since the Petting Zoo has officially opened to public on the same day. We have our hand bands after paying for the ticket, RM30 *.* (expensive huh? but the fee has include the Petting Zoo visit as well, so its worth it!), change our clothes and getting ready to jump into the water..Yihhaaa!!! Luckily the weather was not too sunny, in fact it was raining for a while. Soon after the water session, we're going to the Tiger Valley to watch the feeding session. O god, the tigers are so huge, it weighs 7 times heavier than me! We're so lucky that we even managed to see the fights between 2 youngest tigers. (Cat fight for food, since the other tiger didn't get enough) Unfortunately on of them got hurt, heard the instructor say they may need to stitch it since the wound is quite huge. Hmm..

Then we walked bare foot to the Petting Zoo, aww, the animals are sooo cute and adorable, except for the reptiles..(euw..I hate snakes mor...) Managed to take some photos in there with the birds, rabbits even a small fish I caught, what matters most, it makes me forget all the problems for a while and getting close to nature, I wished the journey just never end..

Will continue in the next blog later tonight, need a break to do something else..dang, I hate assignments..:(

Red bean + Rice ball dessert at Up 2 U wow, Hakka and special appearances by Mr Roti tisu..:p

Waiting for the Tiger feeding session..ngee..

Exciting fights between the giants..Euw, the water is cold, cold..Wish the water could wash away all the pain..
Yihhaaa, nampak ni?nampak ni?aku dapat ikan!!ngahaha..(dengan eksennya)

Chickie chickeeeenn..hee..:p

Adeline almost break this monkey's arm when she kept spinning it around..:D

Candid!^.^

2009-09-09T21:14:00.005+08:00

Hehe, Annmei have just taken some photos this afternoon while waiting for the practice session to start. This is what we've called, BORING!! (Don't take it too seriously, we're doing this just for fun..)
Me: "Ohhh, I'm getting dizzy after donating blood yesterday, almost collapsed in the ward, now we're having practices for OSPE..+_+
Sueyi: "Neh, that person lo, suka suka nia say wana do OSPE, huh!"
Me: "Did you see what I see?"
Sue Yi: " Come shower us with the flashlights please!"
This lady very funny lo, my junior taking nutrition, she was actually on her way for lecture and going late but we asked her to stop by for some photo-shoot session. Haha.
Aiya, still take photo?Hahaha..I love this pic, thanks Mei.:)

Friends are kisses blown to us by angels. ~Author Unknown

Giving hopes, saving lives..

2009-09-09T19:49:00.009+08:00

It's not a very busy day, with class starting from 8am-9.30am, almost 5 hours of gap in between before the next class at 5-6.30pm. Sounds very relaxed but actually not! After going back from my English class, I immediately went back to my hostel, accompanied by my hungry stomach, have some good bath and dinner and distributing leaflets to my block's student in block B. Huh, then I head off to DU for Mega Blood donation held by HUSM. Herm, I've joined it during my first year, but I've chosen to escape the second year due to some incident.T_T (Nevertheless, I've won Pensonic toaster from lucky draw! Ngahaha..)

And last night, after I've gathered all my strength, I try to donate blood for the second time, this time calming myself and hopefully no error is done. Luckily after waiting for a while, I managed to donate 450cc of blood. Feel very satisfied indeed! Hm, as usual, lucky draw session was held after the blood donation, and guess what? I'm not going back empty handed! Haha, won a hamper instead! But my friend and batchmate, Annmei has won even a bigger price! A table fan! (Full of jealousy)

But whatever it is, whether I get a hamper or a table fan, the conclusion is that never hesitate to do something good in order to save more lives. I've always wanted to be an organ donor too, but due to certain factor, I may need to let it go. You'll never know how much someone out there is so in need of blood to save their lives, and your decision may be the pen that'll write their future..The criminal who have stolen the fan away from me!! haha...
The other criminal who have stolen the hamper.^_^
The blood bag..
Take a closer look, whose blood is this?
The owner. Haha, ok, so my blood type may not be as popular as the O and AB type, but what matters is the intention to help right?:)
This handsome guy came out of no where, only realised he was at the back of me when I saw this photo!
This guy can't accept the fact he didn't get any lucky draw prizes, so to make him happy, I've entertained him for a while:p
Oh, and again, this time with Annmei's fan.:)
Not satisfied, I took another pic, this time, yours truly.:p

Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day. ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Fish

2009-09-07T21:00:00.001+08:00

A day I'll never forget..

2009-09-02T18:44:00.008+08:00

In one's life there's surely some moments at which we've locked inside in our minds forever..

Yesterday was a really tiring day, waking up early in the morning at 5.30am, getting prepared for my clinical posting at ophthalmology ward, and of course the ward was famous for the lecturer involved, from all of my course mates experience entering that ward, it was never a pleasant experience. The lecturer was strict and she likes to ask nonsense!! Some of us were even being labeled as class E or G students, and being accused for not bringing along our brain during posting. Oh, whatever. All the complaints that I've heard has somehow make me immune to it. In my mind, I don't even give a damn if she want to scold me stupid or anything. Let her out, maybe that's her therapy in releasing tension.

So, with a relaxed mind and slightly prepared (it was so exhausting the day before and with tonnes of assignments waiting, I just studied important component.) Me and my other group members head off to the ward. As soon as she came in, all of my group members was shocked since she came in earlier than we thought. The rest? herm..We got scolded as 'bengong' bla bla..But I'm cool, to me 'bengong' is still considerable. The clock is ticking slowly, but I just want to go through that ward and preparing for my afternoon posting. Yes, it's 12.30pm!! and I'm free..Phew, luckily I don't get hurt emotionally or else I can't proceed to the next ward..

After having lunch, I went to the neurology ICU ward at 2pm until 4pm. As usual, I do have the feeling of performing some procedures, but unfortunately due to inferiority and feeling insecure, I decide not to touch anything. So we have bedside teaching by the staff nurses in-charge. approximately 3.30pm, the ward suddenly went chaos when an 8-month old baby was having nose-bleed and his blood pressure went so low they immediately call for the doctor. I'm not very clear about the real situation but as soon as I saw something wrong, I went in to see what's happening. All I can see was the doctors were trying to rescucitate the baby and a nurse provides oxygen through bagging. The mother was standing aside and crying.

What's happening? Why everyone suddenly gone chaos because of this baby? Is the baby going to be ok? Will he recover again? Suddenly one of my friend informed me that the baby has sepsis which is the blood stream infection. They've realised something wrong when they found out his hands were cold andthe lips went blue. But before that the baby suffered from many other chronic illness such as meningitis and hydrocephalus. His folder was so thick, I assumed that he must have been in the hospital for quite a long time. Still not wanting to give up yet the doctors tries to recovers the baby's heart beat and blood pressure to normal. I was trying to comfort the mother but didn't even realised that I was also worried and anxious about the baby. At 4pm, everyone was leaving except for me and one of my good friend. Looking at each other without saying a word, we choose to stay for a little while. The ventilator machine was not showing any progress either..

15 minutes later, one of the doctors stopped the rescucitation. Shaking his head and after discussing, they decide to let the baby go..Walking towards the poor mother:" I'm sorry madam, but this is all we can do, we've tried our best, maybe you would like to have your last word with your son.."

Unable to control her feelings, she cried out loud..Calling and asking for her son not to leave her. All of sudden tears came rolling down my cheek..I'm not sure why..Maybe I was too tired? And maybe I really don't want that baby to go..I never knew his mother or the baby himself, and yet why I was crying? Somehow I was trying to put myself in her shoes..Just imagine the relationship between the mother and son..He was only 8 months old, but I can feel that their relationship was so strong..She has been accompanying him all the time when he was in the hospital, from the moment she gave birth to him, taking care of him, feeding him, see him smiling and crying and watching every progress..There's alot of memories they share together..Now that she lost him, she knew she'll never see him again.

I can't bear to watch her say goodbye to the baby, and I try to calm myself from being emotional, heading off to wash my hand and saying good bye to the staff nurses in-charge. As soon as I came out from the ward, I cried again..It makes me feel depressed, that I can't do anything for him..Even till today, the calm innocent face that was lying cold on the bed, is still fresh in my mind..Death is normal in everyday life, each start will come to an end, as nothing lasts forever and eternity..But as for me, I'll never forget this moment for the rest of my life..

Just For Fun..^.^

2009-08-29T13:08:00.006+08:00

I am currently listening to a song by Jason Mraz "The Beauty In Ugly", very nice..:)

she's so big hearted,
but not so remarkable
just an ordinary humble girl
expecting nothing as we're made to think
its a pretty person's world

but you are beautiful and you better go show it
go look again, you gotta be true to your own
if you really wanna go to the top
do you really wanna win?
don't believe in living normal, just to satisfy demand

well if you wanna get free
and if you wanna do the passionate thing
and if you wanna get smart for the sake of your heart
you should own your name and stand up tall
and get real and see the beauty in ugly

well you are fresh, you're face is fabulous
don't forget you're one of a kind
when nobody is checking the deeds you've done
and nobody is hearing your cries
you make all of the fashion statements
just by dressing up your mind

well if you wanna get free
and if you wanna do the passionate thing
and if you wanna get smart for the sake of your heart
you should own your name and stand up tall
and get real and see the beauty in ugly
and see the beauty in ugly

well if you wanna get free
and if you wanna do the passionate thing
and if you wanna get smart for the sake of your heart and oh
you should own your name and stand up tall
and get real and see the beauty in ugly
see the beauty in a ugly

Just passing by..

2009-08-25T20:41:00.004+08:00

Hey everyone, it's been a long time since I've updated my blog.

Lazy right?

But still I miss my blog so much and have so much to write unfortunately due to a very packed schedule, I need to slow down for a while..

This is where I write down what I can't actually tell other people..Just like a personal diary.

With so many problems coming, the heart is still hurt and bleeding..

But still first thing comes first, will be going to the Psychiatric Unit tomorrow morning, may be some of the most unforgettable experience I wont forget..

In the afternoon, I'll head off for the surgical Orthopedic ward..more new knowledge to come...

Hope that I'll be grant with lots of courage and pure wisdom for days to come.

Kisses,
Alexis.

Temptation..

2009-08-15T15:32:00.007+08:00

Yep, talking bout temptation. Starting off this afternoon just would like to share something with all of you. this morning, 10.30am, Suetkee, Yeeleng, Gabriel Nai Ma and me went to the KB PIKOM PC Fair in KB Mall. At first it seems like any other PC Fair, offers and discounts here and there, with new gadgets from a normal mouse to a touch screen PC. But that doesn't matter anyway. So instead of tucking our self in the sea full of people, me and Suetkee went to Popular to look for her senior's farewell presents. Then into the Pacific to hunt for new clothes since it's now Mega Sales Carnival..(WUUUHOOOO!!!) Unfortunately since I'm being really fussy with clothes none of it caught my attention though. fine, save money then. Hikhik..(Kononla:D)

Going back to Guardian (same floor with PC Fair), suddenly I heard a loud call from a very familiar voice..

"DAJIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!" "PAP!"

Apu, what is this lady doing? Oh, it is Yeeleng. Haha. Looking so happy and satisfied I was wondering what makes her smile even more.

" See? I bought a digital camera!! Guess how much is it? RM 399!! Canon brand some more!"

" What? RM399? Are you sure?"

" Ya, and i got a lot of free gift, includes 4GB pen drive, increased memory card 4GB, mini tripod, casing."

" Oh my god, so cheap! Very worth it!"

Suddenly I felt jealous. That greed feeling is coming. Before this greed feeling came, I only have RM40++ with me, since I'm going to Penang tomorrow, so I try to not touch anything. furthermore, I've bought my CNY ticket, it gaves a big hole on my Bank Islam Account, thanks to AirAsia. :( That doesnt include my november tickets yet! Haha. But the camera...It was...So...Cheap...So..Worth It..Huhu..Sad..

Later on, thinking about it, I suddenly remembered. If it is true I have the tendency to buy that thing, do I need it? DO i reeeeaaally need it? Oh, it makes me tired. Why do I have to choose when I know the answer? Hmm, temptation is everywhere. But if I do things according to temptations around me, then I'm going to lose everything even money that I save for the Penang and Ipoh trip! It was really sad not to buy that camera since my family never had one, but first thing comes first. According to neccesity. I'm glad I've made a wise choice. Not only I save money, I don't need to think about how I'm going to spend my whole semester thinking bout money. Nevertheless, Yeeleng was really lucky to get a good bargain. I'm hoping by next semester when I'm financially stable again, I'll get a camera, to capture beautiful moments with my friends and family, perhaps with a new loved one? HikHik..

The Poor Girl..

2009-08-13T20:33:00.006+08:00

Just looking for something that we can discuss together for those who read this post. 2 days ago I'v read about a girl who was raped by her stepfather in Kelantan. To some of you, rape cases may sound just like any other ordinary crime done by people who lost their level of consciousness and was provoked by devil to do such thing. But this case was somewhat touching. Although I do not know who that girl was, I still feel it was a very heartless crime done by her step father. The incident was like this (based on reports done by Utusan Malaysia 11 August 2009):

The poor lady was persuaded by her step father to go out with him by telling that he will bring her to town. Unfortunately she realised that her step father was heading to other place instead of going to the town, she was brought to the rubber estate, and was immediately being raped by her step father. Not being able to escape, as her step father's animal instinct has taken control, she shout as loud as possible and fortunately some of the villagers nearby heard the shout for help. Panicked as he realised that the villagers are on the way to stop him, he was taking drastic action by splashing acid towards her daughter. Not just that, she was also stabbed. Next? Scared that he will be punished, the step father drank the acid and was pronounced dead when the villagers arrive.

So, the damn father is dead. The daughter? I just can't say. She is now bearing a severe injury due to the acid and wounds. According to the newspaper report, she was immediately brought to HRPZ II. By the time i was reading the article, it doesn't feel too bad, but still I have sympathy for her.

Yesterday, after Sue Yi was back from her posting, she told me something really shocking. "Jie, you know just now there was a rape case in the ward I'm in. She was a very young lady. Pity her." Suddenly i remembered something: " Hey, if I'm not mistaken , I've read about a case just like what you've mentioned, it is the same girl!!" Yes, it's true, it is the same girl moved to our hospital, in Intensive Care Unit. According to Sue Yi, just by looking at her will make you feel so sad and depressed. She was tied to the bed (this maybe due to avoid her from getting out of control), flipping through her folder, with 40% burn injury on her body and eyes and most probably some of the acid also enters her digestive system. Her face was wrapped with bandages, so can't even see her real features. Imagine how this lady will continue her life in the future..

Honestly if it was me, I don't think I can regain back my strength and continue like normal people do. She is so young, there's so much more beautiful things ahead waiting for her to discover. And because of his eager needs for satisfaction, the hope and faith is no longer there. Just imagine being in her shoes has already make me feel sad, what more the person herself. How can a human being turn into a beast and destroying his children's life. He was free forever since he is no longer here, but what about his daughter? His wife and family? Will they be able to handle the society's bad perception? Only time can determine how their next phase of life will be..

W-inds 26th single-Hybrid Dream!!

2009-07-30T22:02:00.019+08:00

Yipee!! I just got the songs from W-inds latest single "Hybrid Dream" from Sim Lee.Haha, luckily I went to her room to pass the Researh Methodology book just now. And before that I left my clothes at the toilet for a while and started listening to the songs alone in my room. Wow, love it so much!! I was previously introduced to this group last year and one of the songs that really attracts me was "MESSAGE" during their '07 concert. The MV was so beautiful at which three of the members Ryohei (leader), Keita and Ryuichi sits together on a dark red sofa, slowly emerging on the center stage, so beautiful indeed. And their feeling while singing the song is so real I can eventually feel as if i were there..

Listening to the song Upside Down, I feel so guilty as it's been a long time since the last time I 've listened to their songs and watching MV's. For this single, the verdict is A+. Haha, to me not only their song has shown some new element in it, including the song "Rain Is Falling" feat G-Dragon (Big Bang) that has this techno and electric feeling. Got me shakin my head and want to dance with the beat! Obviously they have grown up and experiencing new things in order to sustain their standard in Japan's music industry.

As for the song "Hybrid Dream", it gives me a very smooth and calm feeling, according to Sim Lee they even sang th song without breaking down the chain and singing it continuosly. Love this song too! Hm, she is a very good observer and I didnt realise that till she told me. If you think of listening to a song that's not too heavy then this is suitable for you. Next, specially recommended by Sim Lee " Upside Down" (like her also la..haha) The song is quite catchy and it's the first time they sang a song with this rhythm. It was a mixture of everything! What's important is that I can heard Ryuichi's and Ryohei's voice clearly!! Think if I listen to it for a few more times I may catch the lyrics together. And Keita's voice is really good in this song.Ah, again I'm in love with him.*Wink*

Lastly, "You Are.." , hm, not bad but not my most favorite. But still for the first single it is not bad. Now I'm anxiously waiting for the Seventh Avenue concert CD to arrive! There's always soemthing special installed in their concert which is why the tickets to their concert are at high prices and hard to get. Waa..Thanks Sim Lee for making my day so meaningful, hopefully the Cd will arrive soon ya??hikhik..(Parasitism)The adorable Mr Keita..cute smile don't you think?? Haiz, I swear if I see him live I may passed out..

Mr Ryuichi..
The leader Mr Ryohei..hikhik..

Everyday is W-inds day..

Another day..

2009-07-10T20:31:00.008+08:00

Feel really down today, somehow felt I've failed to accomplished my mission for today, supposed to have made it a really meaningful day..And so in order to make myself feel guilty i went to wash my clothes, it was like a stress therapy at which I can do some activities and make some reflection on myself to correct my mistakes and do better in the future..

My roommate is not in too, so no one to talk to, i understand she also has tasks to do. Well, everyone gotta do what they must do right? I just chat with Mei Ee just now checking on what she's doing now, since they currently living outside, so it must be tough going here and there especially when there will be on-calls going on for the 4th year. Nevertheless i hope Mei Ee and her friends will be able to fight for their rights as student and stayed in hostel because it's a must and we paid for that!!

Neway, tomorrow evening Yee Leng has rent a car for us to go shopping in Tesco, this time i want to make sure i catch all the things i needed and not what others needed. Time to fulfill self-satisfaction..Can't wait! :)
It's up to you to choose, whether you want a great day or a bad day..:)

The Tension Is Just In The Air..

2009-07-08T19:01:00.005+08:00

It's been a quite relaxing week for the nursing students actually, well, that's what written in the timetable, unfortunately things just don't go smoothly just like planned, there's always more and more surprises to come!!

This week we are introduced to several courses which is quite new to us, and also more assignments and seminars!! Hm, less paperwork doesn't mean the burden got is less. This semester I am taking 9 courses, including 2 new electives which are the communication and self development followed by Arab language.Ya, Arab language, i know it sounds awkward but at least it is much better than ekosistem akuatik or tropikal than has nothing to do with nursing. My aim this year is to learn new things as much as I can. Sounds stupid but true, I also want to improve my relationship with others and gain more friends instead of enemy. I'm sick of having enemy since it's giving me a hard time going through every semester.

This semester 3rd year nursing student is no exception from meeting the lovely Miss Supa. I do hear from some of my seniors that she is a strict lecturer and has high expectations on us. Meeting her for the very first time nearly scares the hell out of me!! Haha, idiotic indeed. Today we were given the chance to experience ourselves what it feels like to be working in 2 Delima, a HDU neurology unit in HUSM. Taking the first time into that place it was full of serenity, not because it was heaven, it was like a silent battle field for comatose patient. Only the sounds of ventilators and respiratory aid can be heard. Freaking out with what i saw, it's not an easy task and ratio of 1 nurse to 1 patient is used to maintain quality health care. And meeting a really friendly nurse, Pn Zaidah has been able to cool down the tense besides giving tips on how to survive in the ward.

Honestly it make me think the importance of putting myself in theirs shoes since these patient is unconscious and unable to make decision themselves. Nurse's role is very important in sustaining sterility and calmness. Suddenly it make me feel really proud of myself for choosing this profession. I don't give a damn what other's thinking about nurses, to me it is a really noble job, besides applying a lot of skills together all in one such as communicating and being empathic.

After finish that session of visit we went back to do some discussion on what we feel, some said they were scared and some say they never expect the ward to be that way. Having talking heart-to-heart, Miss Supa certainly want to know deep down about us..there's whole lot more to say but i'm just not that prepared yet, but when i enter that ward again next time, i expect myself to be more self-disciplined and courageous..

Happy birthday, Sis!!

2009-07-07T15:49:00.009+08:00

On 23^rd of July 2009, my family a birthday party for my sis, actually the party is also to celebrate my sister’s entry to a nursing college under SPA at Sibu. Mama invited a lot of people to come including my cousins and also my mama’s friends. The night before that, me, mama and sis went to Imperial Mall to buy some food to be prepared for the next day, bought some potatoes, sausages, snacks and soft-drinks too. Just a simple birthday party.

Hehe, the next morning, mama starts off by cooking chicken curry. And in the afternoon, she cooked sausages, baby kailan with oyster sauce, and cangkuk manis with eggs. But the tough one was cooking fried mee, all together 4 kilo’s added with fishballs, prawn meat, squid, vegetables such as bean sprouts and pak choy. Yummy..Just can’t wait. My hungry stomach is screaming for help. Haha.

The party was supposed to start at 7pm, but since we’re waiting for her boyfriend to arrive the party only started at 8pm. After singing birthday song for her, Daniel (her boyfriend) read some prayers for my sister. Next? Makan time!!

Below are some of the pictures taken that day.

Anyway to my beloved sister, I’m wishing you a very happy birthday. Hope you’ll get everything you dreamed of, be good and all the best in your future undertakings. It’s good that she got her study offer in Sibu, then mama won’t worry too much about her. Hehe.

The Death Of A Legend..

2009-07-06T22:45:00.007+08:00

Saw a message in Facebook written by my cousin Steve, “The King of Pop dies at 50, no more Moonwalk.” Honestly the first thing that I do after opening my webpage was going to Facebook first. Curious whether the news was true or not, I surf msn.com. Wow, the page was full of MJ’s pic from the moment he joined Jackson 5 till his death.

To some people, this guy is known as an eccentric. After the success of the album “Thriller” in 1982, he’s popularity soared to the sky. With 50 million copies sold worldwide, he proves that skin color is nothing. He breaks the boundaries between white and black. To some of those who speculate more about his personal life, I think it’s just unfair to judge him just because he chose not to expose his life to the public. What is their right to interfere with his life? I never knew this guy, I never met him, but I can feel he didn’t live a life he enjoys. He choose to be with children and his long time mate Bubbles, a chimpanzee.

If some of you read about his childhood life, it was painful and he didn’t get a chance to enjoy a life a normal kid does. Which is why he built Neverland Ranch. The painful time he went through has made him a person who is introverted. He was married, blessed with 3 children, Prince Michael I & II and Paris. To some of the readers of this blog, do you think he’s happy? Showered with mountains of money and spotlights of fame, it only fulfills his physical need, ignoring his own feel.

And he never wished to die that early, I’ve watched a documentary about him few years ago which was taken in Neverland, he said he want to search for immortality. And even if he dies, he wants his body to be preserved and believes there will be time when he will wake up again and live forever. To lose a legend like him, considered a ‘natural heir of Elvis’ is unbearable to the music industry. I’ve read several articles this morning; he passed a way due to ‘cardiac arrest’ and was no longer breathing when he was still at home. It is a very ironic ending to the long trailed tragedy of this legend, when he was going to start his last world tour long awaited by his fans.

Saw another news tonight that he will be buried tomorrow, I just can't accept why it even until the moment of his death it is still being sensationalized.

For some people, it is just another end of a fairytale story, another end of a song, another end of a an epilogue..What do you think? RIP Michael.

Father's day Tomorrow!!

2009-06-20T13:21:00.003+08:00

Huh, thanks to stupid secret agent who has mistakenly giving me a wrong date of Father’s Day which is supposed to be tomorrow. Hm, you know who you are ya my dear. :(

Me and my family has celebrated that special day 1 week earlier, which is last weeks, Like I say, thanks to that secret agent. :( But I really feel sorry for Papa, because I didn’t managed to get any special gift for him on his special day. Firstly, lack of money, secondly, I’m lost in thinking what to buy. Huhu, sorry Papa. I wished my Papa a very happy Father’s day and started to cry when I hugged him thinking about my late grandfather who has just passed away September last year. Sadly I wasn’t able to go back to my hometown Sibu to see him for the last time, as I was still in campus and I have practical too. It was a really big regret not to visit him for the last time since I haven’t seen my grandfather for quite some time.

It’s a sad thing when thinking about the fact that you no longer have a father. Who will be able to protect the family and give you support? A family structure is not complete without them because they are the leader to us. I’m very glad to have a father who is understanding, caring, giving full support in everything I do and giving good advice. He is like a mentor to me. And for that, Papa thank you so much for everything. We all love you so much. Mama, I love you too oh!! Hikhik.. Muaks..

To my dad on his day,
Of whom I am a living will;
May your happiness be fulfilled.
Your kindness, as is just and right.
Deeds are seeds upon the night.
As wind and wonder have their way,
Delivering the destined light.
(A short poem that I’ve read in The Borneo Post, Nature and Health 20th June 2009)

Unexpected..

2009-06-20T13:19:00.002+08:00

There’s always a surprise..Anytime, everytime, and happens to anyone..
Yesterday I just received a SMS from my cousin, giving bad news about my uncle. He’s the husband of my mother’s cousin.

Previously he can’t swallow food properly due to an obstruction in his esophageal tract. They found out it was actually the seed of the fruit called ‘buah raba’ at which he swallowed few weeks ago. Before that, he can’t even swallow rice and other had food and only has milk or soft diet such as porridge and soup, causing him to become thinner. After going to an ENT specialist, they took out the seed and taking some samples from the tissue found around the seeds incase there’s anything else besides lesion in his esophagus. He and his wife were really delightful not knowing what’s going to happen after that.

The result was out yesterday morning..

It was confirmed that there were cancer cells found. But further check need to be done. And a surgery needs to be done to remove it. Its like a storm after a sunny day..My aunt was crying alone at home, after the lost of her sister also due to throat cancer, to her it was too hard to bear. She was accompanying her late sister all the way through to help her and support her. So she knows how it really feels.

I just don’t get it. Of the entire person in this world, why kind people always become the victim of merciless disease like this? It’s just not fair. Their family is well-known for being kind and never arrives late to give a helping hand to their family members and relatives who were in trouble.

Maybe there is a lesson behind all this, having a disease doesn’t mean it’s the end of life right? I’m hoping this will make their family even stronger, and I believe good deeds will always be repay with good things too. Just hope that Uncle will recover very soon, I’m sure with all the support he have, nothing is impossible. Good Luck my beloved Uncle.

The Heartless Scavenger..

2009-06-18T14:58:00.001+08:00

That day, when I was sleeping and dreaming about my prince charming (hikhik..), suddenly I heard a very familiar voice..

“It’s really hot nowadays, I’m sweating although staying at home, maybe we should buy an air-conditioner to cool down don’t you think?”

“Better not start that topic, not that my salary is enough to pay for that..”

“Why? What happen?”

“I don’t think I’ll remain as the hotels’ driver anymore..What makes me more disappointed was that even my boss didn’t inform me anything about that.”

Huh? What? I wake up from my sleep and keep on listening to my parent’s conversation.

“So that means your salary will be less than before?”

“Ya, luckily I found out earlier or else I’ll be really mad and went to the office to meet my boss asking what really happened. That’s why we need to wisely spend our money”

My father works as a waiter at Somerset Hotel in Miri. Hm, actually he is a waiter+ cashier + room service+ driver all-in-one. What does that job called then? Weird. My father works according to shift, sometimes early in the morning & sometimes in the afternoon from 3pm till late night. And every night he was responsible to send workers home, from Lambir area up until Senadin area. Imagine being exhausted working during daytime, and sending people home at night. Papa was a really strong fighter.

He was working happily there, but there’s just one thing that is wrong at the hotel. Especially the manager. She was famous for harvesting other people’s hard work directly into her pocket and cruelly only left bits of it for her workers. Previously she flawlessly swallowed worker’s EPF money. In the pay slip, it was stated that the EPF money has enter the KWSP account. Are you sure? Does the money enter the right place? Maybe she can fool certain people, but not my father and his other colleague. But this matter has been left flowing into the drain for long. Same problem happens when it comes to bonuses. If she like you, she’ll give you more, if she hates you..

I just can’t understand what she wants and why she wanted to do that when she has everything, big house, big cars with hundreds of thousand in her account, and a husband who has a stable job. To some of you it may sound too stupid to be true, and it happens! How can she be so unfair to others who dedicated their life to the job only to found out in the end the money doesn’t belong to them?

I remembered a statement that my teacher, Miss Yeoh has given me when I was in form 3.
“This world is never fair, hence, only the strongest people will go through it. So don’t expect the world to pity you, they didn’t owe you anything.”

My father is one those who was able to got through the challenge. And I am very very proud of him. No matter what happen, I want to try my best to improve my family’s condition, from normal to better, then my father can quit his job and enjoy his life with my mama doing something he like. This is my promise.

Just bla-ing..^.^

2009-06-18T13:55:00.005+08:00

Tada..The new i Phone by Apple..
Finally there’s some free time for blogging yeah!!hikhik..Have been through very busy week through Gawai in Sibu and also back here in Miri. But nevertheless it was so damn fun since my friends, Suet Kee and Sim Lee from Penang, Dora from Kuching and Swee Mang from Sibu came for a visit to Miri and stayed at my house for a few days..Hehe, pendek kata, nang kecoh la dibuatnya..Haha..Even my mama say she missed them..Will update about the Sarawak trip in my next blog k?

Yesterday just surf the net to see my result for last semester’s final exam..Comments? Erm, ‘ma-ma dei’ gua..Haiz, actually I was quite unhappy with my English subject. Since I expect I got better for it..But it was quite true if I say that the final paper was really tough, the essays essay was beyond my expectation..There’s no link with health science at all! As for core courses such as Microbes and Pharmacology, I passed both the subjects and surprised with the result actually, believe it or not, I memang mati kena tembak dy when I finish those papers..But let bygones be bygones then, think I need to try harder next time..

This morning saw many new inventions in TV2, one of it that actually attracts me was the i Phone 3GS by Apple. Sleek and look damn cute indeed, the touch screen accompanied by the latest 3G technology makes it the fastest and most affordable i Phone in the market. Honestly it impress me..hehe, thought of having one..eeee..

Contact Lenses..

2009-05-19T14:45:00.002+08:00

3 more days to go before I go back to my lovely hometown in Sibu to attend my cousin’s wedding..Honestly I’m not totally prepared for it yet, mentally and physically. I even swore to myself that I want to look fit for the wedding and wear nice dress. Unfortunately my mouth can’t control itself and so do I. Haha, no one to blame actually. Besides that my skin tone has changed to worst due to driving lessons. Uneven skin tone on the arms..God!! How on earth can I wear a sleeveless dress with that!! Urgh!! But nevertheless I spend quite some money for the dress, and skin care products, not to mention bought my very first contact lens set!! Ya, first time in my life. Talking bout lens, just want to share a bit of my experience as a first timer training to use this weird thingy called contact lenses.

Me and my parents went to the International Optical at Mega Hotel, it is where I usually bought my spectacles for its affordable price and good service.

Me: “Good morning miss, I’m here to buy contact lenses.”

Sales girl: “ O, are you a first-time user or you ever use one before?”

Me: “ (Sambil control malu) Erm, ya, I want to try it for the first time”

Sales girl: “ O I see, miss do you mind wait for a while? Because it need some time, we will ask our optician to teach you how to use it ok?”

Me: “ O, ok sure..”

My sis: “ Erm, usually how much will it cost?”

Sales girl: “It is now affordable since there are a lot of brand in the market, such as Acuvue, the saline is also cheap, around RM 20, just up to you either you want it colored or not”

Few minutes later..

Sales girl: “Please come this way ya, we will teach you how to use it”

Eee, scared man..
I met the optician and he assists me in using the contact lenses but for trial I was given a blue contact lens 1st. Honestly, that thing really annoys me, huh.. Thought it was easy, never thought that thing almost make me cried..Haha, quite a pain inserting it in, and you know what? Blue contact lenses just don’t suit Asian’s like me..I look like a mutant instead of a human..Haha..

Several minutes later, I finally managed to insert it in and take it out without a hassle, I was then given some tips on how to clean and use lenses properly. Since it is something concerning the eyes, it is important to clean it in the most sterile way and use normal saline only, not tap water. The lens must also be cleaned with the fingers by rubbing it slowly in one-way direction to prevent from breaking. Wear only 8-10 hours to avoid it from drying. Actually, it must be handled with proper care to reduce the chance of getting infection. I try not to be too dependent on it and take it out only for certain occasions. Hehe, think that’s all for now..Adios!! :)

BTN at KBN Bukit Sagu, Kuantan Pahang!!

2009-05-18T14:09:00.010+08:00

Me: Huh, so suang lah you all can go home liao..While I have to suffer there during BTN..urgh!!!

Sue Yi: Aiyo, don’t worry la, surely will be very fun, just take it as if you went for a holiday after a tiring finals..

Me: We’ll see how then..

I always have bad impression about BTN, some said it was damn scary, some said it was ok and fun, some say after they went back, all the talk given was full of brainwashing and stuffs about government.. And guess what, I got even a bigger surprise the next day when i arrived at HEP!!

Swee Liang: Hey Gabriel, you know what? I heard somebody said our campsite was changed to KBN Pahang instead of Terengganu..

Gabriel: Wa? Really or not? You hear from who oh? From En Jo they all isit?

Swee Liang: Yala!! They say Terengganu campsite got prob ler..

Me (talking to myself): SHIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!

Well, guess I’m not the only one who got that big surprise, Evelyn and some other girls who will go back on 5th May night was even more surprised and got scared because they might missed their flight if they didn’t come back earlier..

We hopped onto the bus, 80 person altogether, and suddenly a lady from HEP came and said: “ Ok semua, dah cukup ke? Kalau dah cukup kita boleh bertolak sekarang tapi sebelum tu saya nak umumkan sesuatu..Kem kita akan bertukar ke KBN Bukit Sagu Kuantan Pahang ye..Kerana campsite di Setiu ada masalah last minute..Perjalanan akan mengambil masa lebih kurang 6 jam..”

Me: SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTT!!! Dahlah aku ni spesies mabuk darat ngan perjalanan jauh..my, god bless me..
Directly after it was announced and official, I informed my mother just to tell her where I was going.

Huh, thanks BTN for giving me such a ‘good’ first impression. Now I’m thinking of how to decrease my dizziness or else someone will puke inside the bus.

Honestly it doesn’t just take us 6 hours, more than 7 hours to be exact thanks again to the stupid bus driver who was careless and got lost for few times. I thought he was mute, he’s not mute, he’s just stupid because he didn’t even bother to ask. Maybe it’ll kill if he even asked.

Once we arrived at KBN Bukit Sagu, Kuantan Pahang, we were directly mesmerized by the beautiful view of hills and palm trees. Hmm, physically the camp does look ok to me, a bit hot since it was already 4 something, but other than that no problems occurred yet. We were then invited to go to the hall and gathered there to get our key. I was lucky since I got the same room with Evelyn and Wai Keng!! After getting our key, we headed to our room..”God, please don’t let the room be dirty..”

“Woh!! Not bad wor!!!Walao, spacious man!! Love it!!!”

The room were filled with 3 single bed, 3 big cupboard but the main problem was there was only one main switch there. This means we need to take turns to charge handphones and stuffs. Well, that’s not the main problem though, what bout the toilet then? I headed straight to the toilet…

“Hoh!!! Very clean wo!! Somemore got place to wash clothes ler!!Jeng man!!”

“Shit!! Almost time liao..”

Hikhik, ya I should stop dreaming now, it’s time for showdown girl..Wonder what’s the next agenda..

To make it short, the 5-day programme was filled with laughter and damn tiring indeed, waking up as early as 5am just to grab the place to shower in the morning and sleep at 12am. The ceramah was boring but other than that, the LDK, the games and other activity was cool. Overall, we were lucky to be transferred to KBN Bukit Sagu, the view was nice, the water was clean and the accommodation was overall great. Love it!! The thing that left the deepest impression in my mind was the movie “Hati Malaya 1957” which is full of patriotisme, a touching story of how our 1st Prime Minister regain our country’s independence, worth watching although early in the morning. (6am..)

What I like the most is after we finish all the ceramah and stuffs, me and my 2 other temporary roommates able to communicate with each other and have some girl’s talk too..Besides having some Mamee keropok and even talk about a cute Malay abang in Evelyn’s group..haha..Can’t tell you who, but that guy sure looks cool and full of charisma..Just that Evelyn was lucky to be able to hold his hands while going for Kembara..T_T The last day we were laughing till 3am without closing the lamp just like instructed by the jurulatih..huahahah..suang..For a while it feels really good going out of USM…

Somewhere around Terengganu..

This is the hall where we were having our LDK.

The hall where the ceramah was held..

This kumbang ho, nearly make me pitam everyday, it was so huge and even fly here and there go langgar the windows at night and in the morning it will be found laying down on the floor everywhere..euw..

The beautiful view in the morning..

Boy's hostel oh..hikhik..
My part-time roomates..

The YG Ladies!!

2009-04-22T12:50:00.010+08:00

Haha, just finish another paper today, herm, what should I say bout the paper??hm, nothing special, the MCQ's tough and MEQ?? still ok kot..But nevermind, that's not the main topic for today..Just figured out what to write since I've heard a new song called "Lollipop" by 2NE1 featuring Big-Bang from YG entertainment!! Surf the net and saw that this song has been in the top of the chart for three weeks in mNet chart!! Haha..Guess I was just lucky when I surfed for Big-Bang songs and found this MV and mp3..So just try and listen to it, and I'm super satisfied!! And the beat of the song just can't make me stop listening to it!! But anyway, who's 2NE1??hmm, they are actually a group that was mold within 3 years by YG Ent. as a "mirror" of Big-Bang but in female feature of course..

Just started off with their single "Lollipop" There are 4 members altogether, consists of CL, 19 y.o as the leader (talented as she can rap, write songs, fluent in English, Japanese and French, and I think she has a good fashion sense just like GD!!)Strong character and that's what I like bout her..

Talented leader+rapper+vocal, Ms CL (Pronounced Ciel, means 'sky' in French)

Next is Ms Sandara Park, 25 y.o., hm, she was previously a famous star while she was in The Philipines, but then pursue her career in Korea with 2NE1, fluently speaks Tagalog with English, hmm, ntg really special though bout her, but she is a very bubbly person and quite shy..

Ex-Philipino celeb, Ms Sandara..

Third, Ms Park Bom, fluently speak English and Japanese, she can also play flute and cello!!! wow, wish I have that talent though..She's unfortuntely is 25 too..From the MV i saw (many times), she can't dance well actually, maybe just at first single, it's just seems that she can barely move her bod. Her role as a the vocal.

Lovely Ms Park Bom..

Lastly, magnae of the group is Ms Gong Min Ji, just 15, talented dancer indeed, she can do some dance just like Tae Yang did..haha..Something special bout this group is the big age gap between them, but nevertheless, before their first debut this May, I'm sure YG Ent. prepared lots of practise for them just like what happened to Big-Bang.

The magnae, Ms Gong Min Ji..

Honestly I was attracted to the MV not only by the song but also the colors used in this MV, so colorful as if your in a candy shop!! 2NE1 ladies hasn't make their official debut yet, which is why their presence is now awaited by thousands of Korean music industry critics..(so do I!!)It is special since there are rumours saying YG Ent will make a unique debut for these lads.. The genre??Randomly Electronica for this song..Love the fast beat+ the rap too!! The clothing's were sooo full of retro feel and so does the background!! Think these ladies are going to be noted in very well in the music industry with their super high killer heels and daring selection of attires with plenty of colors Mr GD and the others look soo cute too!! Below I enclosed the MV if your interested..

2NE1 first debut on May, 2009..

Duh..

2009-04-20T18:39:00.004+08:00

*CLAPS*
Hmm, why? Congratulations to me because due to my stupidity that I didn't manage to do well for my paper this morning, Basic Pharmacology..Huhu, it's so damn hard indeed, I even nearly fall asleep while doing it..Wake up early at 6am this morning just to glance back and catch-up notes thatI haven't read yet.

At 9am once the exam starts, I nearly passed-out, never thought that the essay question is..ermm, hard..I mean, why on earth that type of question come out? Even the MCQ is not an easy one. what i was so angry about is that I was given pass year question as well, and I didn't even take the initiative to look at it for a while, 5 out of 8 question eventually come out from there! It's scary when you can see other people was writing 2 full page while you were simply bla-ing in your paper..hmm, wonder what's Dr Dasuki's reaction when he saw my paper..T_T

Gosh, life sucks man..Especially when it comes to times like this..It's been a very tough sem to go through, with only 3 down and 5 more to go, and thanks to super hot weather that nearly melt me, I don't have the heart to study..Tired, I think my result will drop..Pls don't!! Hopefully the result won't be too bad..Seems like the journey home is still far far away..

What's Friendship All About..

2009-04-18T19:52:00.005+08:00

Sometimes when we talk about friends, we think of sweet and bitter memories with them..Not every friendship gives a pleasant feeling, especially when the word "Hurt" present. I'm not pointing to anyone else in particular, but don't u think sometimes we tend to take friendship for granted. We thought that everything will be fine, although the truth wasn't like that. Hard to believe but so damn true. Take me as an example, I cherish every friendship that I have, but beware, if u try to hurt me, I am a person who will keep my grudge forever, easily forgive but never easily forget..Bad huh? Previously there were many incidents that remind how I should love all of my friends, because good friends are hard to find, especially those who understands you and accept you for who you are. I'm not a perfect person, but I want to improve myself even more so that I'll make my friends happy.

What I can see from the friendship with my nursing friends including those from other courses and with my old schoolmates is something called "TOLERATE". We know that different people do have different attitudes right? And some are nice, some are nasty and some are people we called 'backstabbers!!" At first when i went to USM, I thought it was going to be a very pleasant experience, just never thought that when i reach here, the more "things" I see. Guess I've never see much which is why sometimes I was apparently shock!! I ever cried for certain incidents..Some of it were the main reason why I am standing even stronger each day..Thinking what's wrong with me..Why is it when we didnt have the heart to do so, someone out there just want to make us feel restless and unhappy?Honestly I nearly lost my will to continue everything, just feel like want to fly back home..But hell! What's the point in leaving everything just for something small and minor like this? To all those who have hurt me before, hey, thanks alot for making me a fighter, and to those who have always been by my side supporting me, I just can't repay you all for your care and sincerity..Just cherish everyone around you, because you never know when it was too late to say you love them too..

My worst nightmare..

2009-04-15T16:40:00.003+08:00

Finally the result for Renal & GI OSPE is out..hmm, didnt get very well, only a B+, what? B+? huh..I was preparing for this early on when i was having the exam, since I didnt finish my procedure (NG feeding) and violated aseptic principle. At 1st I thought that the B+ was at least acceptable, not knowing there was actually something behind it. My lecturer said want to meet me today after exam, and so I did (Mei, the captain said, maybe i have something to discuss with her about the OSPE). Saw that alot of people get A's for their skills (Dont really bother neway, just damn angry some one shouted my result loudly..so embarrasing..)

Neway, I then headed off to her office, so surprising that somehow she was having a discussion with two strangers.
"Siik Fung, are you coming to see me? (Duh!!)" and I say,
"Yes , Pn, I come to discuss something with you"
"Can you come see me later, I've got some discussion going on"
"Ok, sure"

The discussion lasted for so long and after almost 20 minutes, finally it's my turn to meet her (Thanks to all the disruption going on).
She later asked me what do I think of my OSPE, I said I am satisfied knowing that I at least got B+. Then she showed me something, a paper with grades in it. "Actually, I hesitate to paste this marks in front of the door, because i scared you cant accept the marks given to you, honestly I was shocked myself, do you know where's your mistake and what u think?"

My eyes nearly flooded with tears when i saw the marks..It was so low i can't believe my eyes. Very, very painful indeed. I got the lowest marks in my life. I failed it. My, what have I done wrong? Aseptic technique violated, and although second attempt was done, I think it is not counted in.

It's really sad indeed, she asked me not to cry, not to be sad, coz she believe I can do well in my finals, I hope so. It's hard to catch an A for this subject. the thought of it makes me crazy. No mood to do anything, sleeping the whole day and think back bout my mistakes. Why I kept repeating the same thing again and again? Why? Sick of it..

Untuk Mu, Hyda..

2009-04-14T09:12:00.006+08:00

Untuk menghormati permintaan en hyda yang hensem, saya menujukan post hari ini khas untuk dia sahaja..haha, tajuknya, Saya Suka Hyda..

Saya Suka Hyda kerana:

1. Dia baik hati,
2. Dia comei,
3. Dia rajin belajar,
4. Dia pandai buat blog,
5. Dia kuat makan,
6. Dia ada skype,
7. Dia orang yang berterus terang,
8. Dia jujur,
9. Dia ikhlas tolong orang,
10. Dia..Dia..selalu tertidur,
11. Dia nurse yang berkaliber,
12. Dia terror main sukan,
13. Dia slim,
14. Dia orang Penang,
15. Dia AJK JDM,
16. Dia penyayang,
17. Dia banyak kucing,
18. Dia sempoi,
19. Dia seorang yang tetap pendirian,
20. Dia kekal ngan imejnya yang cool,
21. Dia disayangi semua,
22. Dia suka Amy Mastura,
23. Dia akan lakukan apa yang dia rasa betul,
24. Dia tak pernah kata 'taknak' kalo minta tolong,
25. Dia..Dia..er..Dia..Nurse Best USMKK!!(dah kering daa..)
26. Satu lagi, dia pandai taekwando!!hikhik..=P

Sbg membalas dendam kpd Hyda yg telah mendedahkan hal peribadi saya di dlm blognya, saya ingin meneruskan sebab kenapa saya syg hyda..
27. Hyda x cukup tinggi,
28. Dia pn gila (mcm saya),
29. Dia suka gelak, pastu ketawa dia contagious,
30. Walaupn macam ganas, hatinya lembut & sensitif(jiwangs..)

Makashehlah kerana sudi memuji saya yg x berapa pendek & bulat ni, kerana anda lubang idung saya lebih besar dan hampir terapung ke siling..semoga hyda happy selalu & buat yg terbaik untuk exam!!~fighting!~

Hyda we lap u!!

Exam Mood..

2009-04-13T16:26:00.006+08:00

Haha, dont know why i am laughing, the paper this morning wasn't too wasy either, and I dont even have enough time to finish it..The chapters that i focused so much was actually the hardest one, Salmonella typhi, Mycobacteria, Pseudomonas aeruginosa, Acinetobacter..O my, if only i read more!! So geram when i saw the questions, I have read it and yet my head was blank!!LOSER!!

Nevermind, let pass be pass then, at least I've tried my best right? Rather than not trying at all..Hopefully for the next paper I can score well, erm, maybe an A- for O&G?hikhik..(perasan) Please pray for me, hopefully I'm able to do well for my finals..Just now went to kafe to see if there's any tempting food, neh, none attracts me I assume, so gonna eat egg sandwich later for dinner, neways, have a great day ahead!!

Study Week's Mood..

2009-04-11T09:20:00.007+08:00

13^th April, my very first paper will start..finally after few months of struggling with CA’s and the most OPPE’s in my life, it come to this moment. The FINAL exam for this sem. Honestly I think this sem is really a killer for me. With Advanced microbe going first, followed by O&G which has the thickest notes I’ve ever seen. Without any experience in this field, it’s sure is tough. We start early and end as the last session for this semester papers. Nursing course has always been popular as the first course to start their paper and the last to go back home. Hopefully next sem there will be a change, I want to go back early and enjoy. It was very exhausting all this while, as all the papers are tough. None was my favorite either. Hate it. A lot. Below is the schedule for my final exam.

What I hate the most bout this sem is that there are 6 core course, and 3 of them is Biomedic’s subject, its tough, and not easy to score. For Pharmacology I still can tolerate since there is coursework to help us. But for advanced microbe? Hmm, the CA’s are negative marking, the lab report barely got 8/10 (Dr Wan expects a lot) and the finals are all essays!! (She say this sem tukar skema since they want to challenge student’s credibility konon) she might have forgotten from past experience it has always been a subject that pulls pointers down. And I am now nyawa-nyawa ikan nia..Start to feel sick when thinking of it, many possibilities in my mind. It is a very interesting subject I have to admit, but for nursing students, we only need to know the superficials. But nvm, below is my schedule for the finals!!wuhoo!!(gila..)

13/4/09- Advanced Microbe (3hr)

15/4/09- Obstetric &Gynecology nursing (2hr)

20/4/09- Basic Pharmacology (3hr)

22/4/09- Renal and Genitourinary Nursing (2hr)

23/4/09- English LSP402 (2hr)

27/4/09- Cardiovascular & Respiratory Nursing (2hr)

29/4/09- Biostatistics (3hr)

30/4/09- Stress Management (3hr)

Lastly all the best to all those PPSK’s student oh!! Let’s strive till the end!~Fighting~

Muka aku lepas study, coz tak cukup tidoq..

Chocolate delight..

2009-04-06T20:05:00.010+08:00

This afternoon in a very hot+sweating condition+bored+tension+'belek'ing my O&G notes+listening to W`inds song, suddenly lovely Swee Mang come to my room to divide some chocolates bought during her holidays in Langkawi (Jealous..>.<). Haha, just something i need in a time like this..Heard that they spend quite some $$ to buy chocolates and wine..(Jealous again) but still they say it's a worthed bargain since all the things there were super cheap and u can eat ur heart out!! Everywhere was full of Duty-free shop..After she came, the next Ms Dorayaki come and give me a keychain she bought there..I've picked a shell keychain, which is very nice(suit me yang ganas) sambil complaining bout the hot weather in Langkawi and how it has take a toll on her white complexion..yamgong lo, she look so red!!..In conclusion, I MUST GO FOR A HOLIDAY NEXT TIME!!! Afterall it's worth it when it's a time u spend with ur good friends..Here i enclosed some of the chocs they gave me..

A visit to the istana..Part 2..

2009-04-04T15:13:00.010+08:00

Hi! Today i'm going to continue 2nd part of my day to the istana..haha..After we went there, some of us were hungry and dehydrated..(i'm one of them..lol), we actually plan to wait for the jamuan session, but it seems like endless..so instead of just staying there and got burned by the sun, we decide to went to Kebun Sultan (not Sultan's garden, it's Kelantan's Chinatown) to eat and have some ice kacang instead..hiakhiak..can't wait!! so there was a small ice kacang stall near the road, alot of customers as well besides other stalls that were selling nasi kukus and fruits..here i've attached some pics that i didn't manage to upload in last blog..

hehe, the yong tau fu i've ordered, quite cheap and nice loh..miss it alot..at least better than eating nasi goreng everyday..haha..
This small shop sells beautiful and yummy pau!!including Char siew pau and Lo mai kai!!my fav!!hehe..got sell popiah and also mankuang..verdict??4stars!(well, for a place like Kelantan, it taste not bad!) One that bring curiosity to us was when the lady wrapped the pau using newspaper and a plastic..we do think it's not hygienic at 1st but then she explained that it is actually to keep the pau warm longer and nice to eat. Macam thermos la..hehe..so we enjoyed that day and night and came back at around 8.30pm..tiring but i enjoy it alot..hope can go other place soon!

A visit to the istana..

2009-04-02T18:45:00.008+08:00

Heheh, on 31st March it was the celebration of Kelantan's sultan, Sultan Ismail Petra..I forgot how old is he, but the celebration was sure grand and full of colors!! I was invited by Swee Mang and the gang and we went there with two cars. Well, actually i didnt plan to go at all as we need to wear formal attire, but after she persuaded me only then i went..

Well, i guess i didnt regret that!haha, every year, to celebrate kelantan's sultan birthday they will usually make Kota Bharu come to life at night..With colorful neon lights and also the traffic jam!! Since me and the lads + Gabriel went there at 3.30pm i didnt manage to capture the night view *sad* Still, nevertheless i manage to capture lots of photo's of this sultan's palace, a very beautiful architecture, some of it looks like as if it was plated with gold! When we reach there, there's alot of people waiting for the Sultan to come, some children form primary schools even prepared to do their performance..kesian la, kecil kecil dy kena dera, just to entertain Him..haiz..
Haha, but The Sultan did show his aprreciation by giving away free ice creams and food.

What i like the most bout His birthday??herm, i think it's the 2 days holz that we get..haha..not much and no less..Its ok, that's not the main case anyway..Here i enclosed by some pictures that I've taken..will update in the next session ya..^_^

The pathway to the istana.

Beautiful building..

Oh!!!what's Dora doing there?

Looks classy and serene..

Thats all for today=)

Nursing senior's last gathering!!

2009-03-30T10:21:00.009+08:00

4 years, yes 4 years, after 4 years of struggling with endless clinical attachments and thesis preparation, they will finally step out of USM and enter the new world..JOB! hehe, anyway, I honestly feel very proud with all these seniors, Shirley, Yu Lan, Won Sze, Shiaw Yun and Fang Fang who have made it so far till today..it’s not an easy task..believe me, although I’m just in second year I’ve thought I went through a lot, but it can’t be compared to them, some even claim they have sleepless night doing thesis, SCARY!

But they are still going strong, it’s a spirit we all should have. During this gathering we manage to communicate a while with them and ask how their lives going on..besides that, we’re having very super hot steamboat (Tomyam), eat till I was sweating. To make it even special we gathered ina dim light condition to actually support Earth Hour..haha, not all lights were closed but to avoid anybody getting lost, we open certain part of lighs.haha..Actually, I wish I could have went and approach these seniors earlier only then we will know what to prepare for during 4th year besides tough assignments too.. 喔, forgot to mention we also do surprise birthday party for Stephanie.hehe, tak sempat grab the cake, but it sure looks tempting..

Anyway, last but not least want to wish the entire 4th year senior all the best, May God accompanied you all the way through the nursing profession and improving nursing’s status..kambate and all the best!!加油！

Thought the previous pot is huge?this is even bigger!!haha..

Stephanie the birthday girl!

We are hungry!!haha..

Yummy and tempting indeed!!

These three seniors berebut wana open their present made by 3rd year seniors!!nice!!

2009-03-09T08:54:00.002+08:00

Hmm, going for a jog this morning..really enjoy it coz got a lot of friends going to!haha, so sambil joging sambil make fun of others..(that's what we do best..LOL) sometimes really wish can go for a jog three times a week, but due to my packed schedule, and that I am somewhat rather..erm, lazy, so this wish has been abandoned..Still remember a promise made to myself, i want to keep fit!!haiz, but after a several weeks, didnt manage to accomplish a thing! not only I start to binge, I didnt went for any exercise and just sitting in front of the laptop..yawning..bad, bad..but hopefully after today, can at least went for a jog once or twice a week, just to stay healthy and stay in shape..that's all for now..^.^

1st attempt!

2009-03-08T23:31:00.000+08:00

Ah!!at last can have my own blogger BLOG liao!!officially launched!!haha, well, wana start a new blog coz sumhow FS limited ma, so cannot download any vids or songs..but nvm, hopefully you all will like this blog of mine..will try to rajin and update..LOL..